Your Fatal Love [Charles Leclerc]

Eleven

Ronnie

I sat at dinner feeling like a fish out of water, I looked around me at everyone who knew one another. I sat at the end of the table my hands resting on the table as I watched everyone else interact.

Lando sat a few seats down from me but he was the star of the table really. Everyone wanted too talk to him, not many people were interested in talking to the bosses daughter with a major attitude. I just sat listen to different conversations, I could see my father laughing with some others.

I couldn't help but burn my eyes into his soul, I really didn't like him right now. He knew I didn't know anyone, but yet he sat there not including me in a single conversation.

"Ronnie!" I hear him call over to me, I watch as he takes another sip of his pint. "You still play Piano don't you?"

My face turns into a frown, I hadn't played in years. I hadn't had the facilities to play, sure it was muscle memory. I knew how to play and I would never forget that, but my mother didn't really have the ability to pay for the lessons.

"No" I speak bluntly, like most of my words that leave my mouth it was sharp.

"Oh fuck, I forgot to change the transfer didn't I?"

I frown at his words, I had no idea what he was talking about. I had never had him transfer me money, not on a regular basis. My father would send me money on my birthday and Christmas and other than that radio silence.

I can see him taking in my reaction, there were eyes on us at the table. He takes this chance to stand from the table and head to the back of my chair before motioning for me to follow him. This was clearly a conversation that didn't need an audience.

I follow him down the hall and out into the smoking area. I stand facing him with my arms over my chest, I watch as he looks around to see if anyone is listening.

"What age did you stop playing?" He asks me

"When you stopped sending the money" I snap right back to him.

My father had paid for my lessons until I was around 13, it was my escape from everything. I loved playing it just brought me happiness and peace.

A kind of peace I needed in my teenage years.

"Ronnie I never stopped" He speaks, I can't help but frown and shake my head at him.

There was no way he was sending the money, I mean my mother told me he stopped years ago and she couldn't afford it. It was expensive and my father made the decision to not send me the money, that's what I was always told.

"No you stopped when I was 13" I speak sternly as an attempt to defend my mother.

"No Ronnie I didn't" He snaps right back at me, I watch as he rubs his hands over his face. "That fucking bitch" He speaks referring to my mother.

"Don't you dare call her that!"

"She was taking the money Ronnie! What do you not understand she was not a good woman!"

"Oh and you're the best dad in the world?" I shout right back at him.

I watched as his face fades into hurt, I didn't know what to believe the woman I was always there for and who was there for me. Or the man that missed so many things from my childhood, who never turned up.

This was the same man that had me sitting by the window for hours waiting for him to turn up.

He never showed.

"I never claimed that I was good father to you Ronnie, but I knew I fucking tried to be your mother wouldn't let me!" He screamed at me.

I loved my mother more than anything in the entire world, she was my best friend and she was the one person who was there for me when I had no one else. I was also there for her forever and always, no matter how much it ruined me.