Devils and Demons

Chapter 19

To my surprise, no one acted like I had a sketchbook or that I drew. Nile looks at me like I have three heads but it's better than being beaten.

Of course he could be holding the sketchbook as blackmail so no one else knows about it.

Let's just say dinner was awkward.

Ears was still next to me and I have yet to find out what him and Nur spoke about but oh well. The rest of their family was around me and I wonder if I will ever have family.

No. Mom's dead. Unless I counted Eyes and Ears, but if I count them as family they'll be killed because that's just my luck. I had been considering them as family for years though. We were screwed.

Maybe if I went rogue they'd live?

I'm snapped out of my disturbing thoughts when Eden knocks over her glass of water and it gets all over the table.

I look at Nur warily because I could be blamed for this. How, I don't know but that didn't stop other foster homes from doing it.

Eden comes back into the room and I shake my head trying to pay attention. I was in the clouds a lot lately. She cleans up her mess and throws away the food that got wet.

I want to tell her that it is a complete waste of food to throw it away but I stop myself. That was a meal Eyes and Ears gave me in the foster homes. It would be the only thing I ate that day. Sometimes days depending if they were on a mission.

Ears kicks me and I glare at him. He glances at Aslan and I just want to smack him because it was painfully obvious.

"Are you okay? You seem to be spacing out a lot lately" Aslan says.

I scoff before I can stop myself. Since when did they care? I mean, look around buddy. Ezra was always gone and if he was here he was in his room. Eden was inspecting her nails. Koji was on his phone and Iman was wolfing down every bit of food within reach. Nile was watching though which was suspicious.

Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious.

He's definitely suspicious.

I'm fine moron. I sign to him and Ears snorts. I take my revenge and jam my foot into his shin.

Everyone dispersed and Ears leaves. My gut churns with the thought of being left alone with the Vinci's but they weren't hostile when Eden knocked over the water.

It could be a trick.

I go to my room after he leaves only to be in the same room as Nile. Why was he in here? To threaten me probably. He saw my sketchbook.

Nile doesn't talk and I don't try to write or sign anything. Maybe he would leave?

"When Aslan asked if you were okay you said you were fine. But you've been gone since I saw that sketchbook"

Oh course not

"It was yours wasn't it? I mean, Iver punched Elijah to get it"

Who was Elijah?

"So it had to be yours. But those drawings. Did you draw them? Wait no that's a stupid question. It's your sketchbook but like, why did you draw them. Yeah that's a better question. Why did you draw those things?"

I stare at Nile and pretend like I'm not frozen in fear. It sounded like Nile was still trying to convince himself I didn't draw. That was good. I mean, he could have told Aslan when he asked me if I was okay. Wait a second - he knew that I said. He knew that I signed.

How long has this idiot that's maybe not an idiot known sign language?

"You're not going to answer me are you?" Nile says dejectedly

How long have you known sign language? I sign to him nervous about the answer.

"I started learning it after you came. You don't talk but you sign to Iver and Dario so I learned it. Although you sign really fast to them so I never really understand what you're saying. Besides, that's off point. I asked first"

What would you do to Dario if that was his? Instead of doing Dario's usual sign I spell his name out.

"I dunno. For one it'd give me some sort of piece of mind it's not yours but on the other hand those things are disturbing and he needs help. Or maybe a new coping mechanism. I looked it up. It's a coping mechanism especially if the images are that-"

he falters and his voice is quieter before regaining its strength

"-gruesome. It would depend on if he wants it though. Is it yours or his? Maybe it's Iver's although he wouldn't do that. Could be though he was the one that punched Elijah. Oh my God I'm totally rambling"

I nod because he is just going. I ramble in my head. I just didn't know people did it out loud.

"So, is it your or his or someone else's?"

Was I safe to tell him that I drew it? No. Was I failing every class I had? Also no. I was passing art last time I checked.

It's mine

He looks like the air in his lungs just got knocked out because he's not breathing and his face is ashen.

"Are you okay?"

I'm fine

I refrain from adding moron but Nile shakes his head.

"No, no, no, no. You said that to Aslan but I know that's fake"

What you want me to tell you how I feel?

Nile nods eagerly. "Yeah you can do that"

I feel like I'm on top of the world with all the glitter and Unicorns.

Nile sighs dejectedly and I think that can be added to his persona.

"You can tell me, Cade"

I stare at him for a hot second and decide that if anything it will get me kicked out of the house. Whether it's being thrown out or through the hospital.

Suffocating. I read somewhere that depression was you yourself drowning while seeing everyone else fine but that's bull. Everyone is treading the water in the lake of life but I'm underneath already and every time someone succeeds in treading the water I'm pushed under. Because no matter what anyone says, at the bottom of the lake we're living in, there's a graveyard of bones"