2. Chapter 4.

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"Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us."





Sunday morning.

After hording ten different brands of home pregnancy kits at the drug store last Friday afternoon with Tessa, it seemed like Drei was losing it already. She even got a digital kit with a conception indicator! She stared at the fifth, and the last, pregnancy kit that she held in her hand and it seemed as though she still wasn't convinced. She closed her eyes and sighed. Two red lines... still two red lines.

Denial. She was in denial. Denial was all over her face. Denial gave her the sleepless nights and the helpless feeling. How did this happen? How was this possible when she was on the pill? But it did. She was starting to get depressed already. But who wouldn't be?  Any woman who's in the same situation that she is now would feel the same way.

For two days in a row she's been religiously taking the tests every four hours like once wasn't enough. But then again the results were all the same. She sighed in frustration as she stared at all the ten kits were laid out in front of her in a straight line, they all had the same result – one with the smiley, one with the baby smiling, one with a check mark, and one that really said the word pregnant. Who was she kidding? Then she glanced at the laboratory results that were piled up beside the kits. Just yesterday she did five different blood tests at five different hospitals. They all had the same result.


Name: Andrea Buenaventura                   Age: 28 y.o                Address: Yabut St., Guadalupe, Makati

Specimen:       Blood

Result:             18,300 – 137,000 miu/mL     17 – 26 weeks

Status:            Pregnant       


As if the kits and the lab results weren't enough, she made an emergency appointment with her OB-GYN, Dr. Shei Datu last Saturday morning. And with a worried look on her face, Drei handed her the results and the kits she bought along with her. Her Ate Des was with her as they went inside the clinic's exam room. The bump wasn't that obvious yet. Her stomach was still a bit flat, but with a small bulge on her abdomen like a beer belly. Drei could feel her heart racing as Dr. Datu started the ultrasound machine.

"There's the cervix... the uterus... the amniotic sac, it's there... And there it is..."

Tugudug tugudug tugudug

It has a heartbeat. And as Dr. Datu aimed the ultrasound machine on one side of her belly, she saw much more. It has a nose... its tiny eyes closed... a small mouth... a round head... she could see its tiny hands and feet. She bit her lip at the sight that unfolded before her eyes. It wasn't an it anymore. It was a little person already forming inside her belly. 

"Congratulations, Andrea!" Dr. Datu smiled at her and handed her the print out of her ultrasound. "You're 17 weeks on the way, so it's four months already!"

Reality was like a bitter pill that Drei found so hard to swallow. Unable to hold it much longer, she burst into tears because for the first time in her life she never felt as scared as she was now. The supposed feelings of joy, excitement and happiness weren't there; instead she found misery, remorse and hate. Not for the person inside her womb, but for herself and the situation.

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