The Business of Time Travel Tourism

Epilogue: Strawberries

And Kevin. George had no clue what to do with Kevin. The guy was clearly too dangerous to be let go. No matter where he would be sent, he was sure to make a mess or do something evil. For a few days, George held him trapped in the cellar. There, scratching his soft thin chin, George would stare at the captive and think. Nothing clever came to his mind. It would be quite expensive to keep a prisoner, George thought one morning, sitting in the cellar, Perhaps it would be best to send him back where he came from.

And when that thought came to his mind a portal opened up in the ceiling. Through it dropped a strawberry, a beautiful, juicy, massive three meters high and two meters wide strawberry. After falling on its back, and recovering to stand on its pointy tip. It said, "Hey, Bottlemore."

At first, George backed off, then slapped his cheek. Figuring he wasn't dreaming, he stepped towards the fruit and extended his hand. He wanted to touch it.

"Do not try to touch me," the strawberry said moving its wide lips, "or I will hurt you." A moment of awkward silence passed and the strawberry added, "I came here to take back my son. Hope that's cool with you."

"Oh cmon father stop your stupid—" Kevin tried to speak but was soon squelched by the commanding voice coming from within the fruit.

"Shut up!" shouted the strawberry. Then, calmly, it addressed George, "May I get my son back? He deserves spanking." He murmured the following words, "I'm not real, I'm not real, you're imagining things George, giant strawberry what the hell?"

"What? Y-you can't have him. Not so easily anyways."

"Oh, shall I repay you then? I got money, gold, n stuff."

"It's not money I want. He's dangerous to let go just like that. I want assurance."

"I can assure you of anything you want." He then quickly murmured, "I'm not real, man. Not real."

George was not sure if he heard the last words. He felt a bit confused, he said, "I want to know that he never goes to another time to do harm."

"Fine. I'm his father. I can ground him."

"Grounding doesn't sound as a very reliable means of constraint."

"I'm a man of my word. You won't see him again."

With a bitten lip and a frowned face, George shook his head. "Somehow I don't believe in you."

"Man, how 'bout as a bonus I am going to tell you my big plan. Does this sound fair? I just wanted to share it with someone. And you, George, are clever perhaps you could help me in some way."

George stood silent.

"It must be really bugging you why Alfonso came here and who sent him. I would tell you that and even much more."

After a thinking minute, George replied, "Fine, I'm listening."

"May I ask where Alfonso is before I start? Is there a chance I could take him too?"

"He is in a time far away from which he will never escape. My friend is guarding him."

"Oh, I see. I understand. Now, let me tell you a story." The strawberry spoke very rapidly, "You can't imagine how I enjoy telling things and sharing stuff with people. I usually don't get to socialize much, because you can't have many friends, be awesome and rule a serious world controlling company at the same time." He took a break to breathe. "Now, how 'bout I start from the beginning...

"So I was that kid who got lost in time and ended up somewhere in the future. I believe it was the fault of my stupid father who did not make decent precautions while building and testing a time machine. Anyways, the future was not as awesome as it is now. There lived a small percentage of rich people and millions of poor people. Countries went bankrupt. Governments disbanded and the chaos gave birth to the third world war. It included nukes, flying robots, biological weapons and the nastiest stuff you could imagine. Long story short, the world would have ended as a nuclear wasteland. But you are lucky to have me, a beautiful, juicy strawberry to step in and save everyone.

"I went back to the past, tried really hard and made this awesome Moonrise Enterprises Company. I bought all the countries going bankrupt, made millions of workplaces. Hell, I even went to the moon to mine helium-three, the most environmentally friendly energy source. But you know what? People are damn greedy. They never have enough. The better living conditions you give, the more demanding they are. Do you know how much energy is needed to sustain billions of spoiled people?

"Infinite, no more, no less. My company dug the damn asteroids, excavated the moon for helium-three and other high energy sources. I established small, comfortable colonies on Mars and Venus, but people did not want to go there. It was just too good to live on Earth. They wanted to live their lazy lives like pigs in fat. So probably I was too nice or something because the world in my future is on the brink of becoming almost the same polluted wasteland I have saved us from. The environmental apocalypse is irreversible there.

"To be frank, I had saved the world two times at all. There was the thing with chemicals and ozone and sun-scorched earth. But I don't know if we have time now for all the details. Anyways, mankind should be kind of happy to have me.

"So, one day I sat alone, and thought, and figured that no matter what we do, it will never end well. To be frank, I think, we kind of suck at living as a species.

"We have this fine planet that can sustain life, one of the ten known capable of such feats. And it produced us, who just don't care. What if we make a small reset and try again. What if we could do better the second time? Aren't we a bit too selfish to take it all?

"Thought Alfonso was awesome enough to help me change the future, so I would need to try less but the slacker failed. I was waiting there in the future to see the fruits of his actions, but the moon did not miraculously disappear, the smog did not miraculously evaporate and the world in my time continued being as crappy. So I came here to check on things and bring my son back home. I can't put it into words how sad I am that you intervened with my plans. Now I will have to do everything on my own. Like always," the strawberry sounded disappointed.

"You're strange." George gave his insight.

"What about yourself? Aren't you strange?"

George shrugged.

The strawberry went on, "Well, anyways. I knew you were awesome and everything. So I thought I will inform you before blowing the world up. Perhaps you would try to stop me, or find the solution to the apocalypse problem we humans tend to create. You're like the coolest person of all time after me, so I felt it would be unfair if I didn't tell you."

"That is quite a story you told here," George said amazed. With his poker face on, he drew Sally's tranquilizer from behind his back and fired it at the center of the giant fruit. The dart bounced off against the red, soft looking surface as if it had hit a wall.

"I'm afraid it won't be that easy. May I take my son and go home now, or should I zap you and free him myself?"

"No need to zap me. I just had to try. Wouldn't you have tried in my place?" George removed straps from Kevin. "I have one more question before you left. "He pushed Kevin toward the strawberry.

"Yes?"

"Why the costume?"

"Because, George, if you told anyone about this vision or had your memory scanned, no one would believe in you. For me and you, our conversation might have been only a dream. I want your full attention to the problem and not the attention of your amateur sidekicks. Amateurs screw things up. Remember, I am just a giant tasty strawberry in your head. I'm not real."

An extended hand stuck out of strawberry and a palm landed on Kevin's shoulder. The two-time travelers disappeared, leaving George scratching his head. The world he lived was an amazing place. It never stopped surprising him.

A challenged for a new adventure? George thought. Handled the Alfonso problem, gonna handle you too, strawberry man.

George walked up the stairs, turned off the lamp and closed the cellar door behind.

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If you enjoyed this book please  check out my 'Short stories' I am quite fond of them.