Wrong marriage [+18]

Chapter 21

I wasn't sure what triggered me more yesterday, the confrontation with Aidan or the after moments with Pablo. Lately, I have been drawn to him like a moth to a flame, captivated by his presence and the way he made me feel. Yet, amidst the allure, there lingered a nagging doubt, a persistent questioning of whether my feelings were genuine or merely a mirage. Intertwined with the thrill was a sense of fear, of diving too deep into waters I couldn't navigate. I wondered if my feelings were simply an illusion my mind created to cope with the pain, or if there was something deeper.

Every interaction with him became a rollercoaster of emotions, a whirlwind of conflicting desires pulling me in opposing directions.

He maintained a solemn silence, not exchanging another word with me, not even when we were in the car, not even when we went to our rooms. But his simple comment echoed in my thoughts like a jarring alarm. Cielita. The memory of the softness in his voice still had my knees feeling weak. I just wished to erase these things from my mind. I didn't want to feel them. Not for him. Not for anyone ever again. I could barely trust myself.

"Natalia? Did you hear me?" Camila's voice snapped me out of my deep thoughts. I almost forgot I was eating.

"I'm sorry, I got lost in my mind, what did you ask?" I apologized and she chuckled.

"I was questioning whether you didn't enjoy the meal. You barely took a bite" she said and I moved my eyes to the plate in front of me, and she was right. I barely ate anything. But I was too distracted to focus on anything else.

"Oh, no, it's delicious. I am just not hungry anymore" I gave her an apologetic smile and before she could say anything, Isabela came into the kitchen with a package in her hands.

"Your dress is here! I am sure you'll look stunning" her enthusiasm was palpable in both her voice and the way her grin nearly reached her ears. I believe she was even more excited than I was.

"Thank you, Isabela, you are always too sweet with me" I said as she placed the package on the stool beside me.

The idea of venturing into the public sphere with him filled me with a sense of unease, bordering on fear. I felt a sense of vulnerability. As if I was stepping onto a stage without knowing the lines, exposed and defenseless. But despite my emotions, I knew I couldn't avoid this event, I couldn't hide away from the world forever.

"Are you okay, Natalia?" Isabela's voice caught my attention again.

"You look quite troubled today" Camila added and I blinked a few times, alternating my gaze between the two of them.

"Yesterday's evening was a lot for me, I think I will go to my room and start preparing for tonight, it's already 5 o'clock" I said and stood up, taking the surprisingly heavy box in my hands.

"Don't be too harsh on yourself and don't punish yourself for their actions" Camila said and I gave her a faint smile before making my way to the room. If they only knew what thoughts actually haunted my mind.