Dearest Tatum ( ON HOLD )

Dearest Anniversary

"There comes a time when you realize you are on your own. And you just have it suck it up; no whining, no complaining and no expecting. Because in the end, disappointment is inevitable."

Tate's P.O.V

The last time I saw my mom was my daily visit to her at the hospital. Her health was just so bad, she couldn't open her eyes. She could here me and make occasional grunts here and there but other than that, nothing.

I sat beside her bed and held her hand like usual and talked.

"So my chemistry teacher is real bitch." I see my mom lips quirk up. "She keeps calling me out in between classes, trying to catch me not listening. She can never get me though, I have ears of Hawks." I laugh.

"James told me to tell you can stop worrying about paying off the mortgage of the house, he took care of it." I tell her. "He's a great guy. He's been so supportive." I hadn't told her that her medical bills were piling up and I told James it was taken care of. I didn't want to burden him anymore. He'd already been spending so much money on us and it was getting out of hand.

We sat quietly and my mom seemed to drift off to sleep. I couldn't notice at first since her eyes were closed like usual, but her grip on my hand loosened.

She looked so pale and tired. Her features were weak. I could feel tear slipping down my cheeks. The doctor said she wasn't getting better and they were taking her off chemo since it wasn't working.

"Please don't leave me." I whispered and leaned on her arm. My tears fall silently and I drift off to sleep.

In the morning, I was leaving to change my clothes when it happened. Nurses were rushing to the room and doctors and I just stood there. I didn't know what to do. They're wasn't anything in fact for me to do.

And I watched her slip away.

It hurt to so much at first. I physically felt the life being squeezed out of me. Memories of my mom flooded through me and pierced me like needles. It showed me everything I had, and everything I lost.

I wasn't ready to be alone.

You can really prepare for losing someone. It just happens at any given time and you have to learn to deal with it. Death is inevitable and at some point I know I'm going to have to face it.

Though I thought my mom wad going to be with me longer. She was such a vivacious person and I wanted her to be there with me every step of the way. I wanted her to be there when I got married, have kids, become a doctor. I wasted to share those moments with her.

I wanted to share them with my parents.

But then, one's dead

And the other doesn't even want me.

So seeing that my mom or dad weren't going to be there for me, for the rest of my life took a toll on me. After my mom died, I sat down against the wall and just cried. James came soon later and basically carried me home. It was so hard to even think about her. Think about how I was all on my own now.

Today was the anniversary if her death. It was the third year without my mom.

Loosing her was the worst thing that ever happened to me. My mom, my best friend, my only parent was now gone. My dad left us and I doubt he would've even cared about mom.

Bastard.

I had never met him. My mom never speaks of him and I thought it was too hard for her so I never asked. All knew was his name.

Brent Woodworth.

I tried looking for him on my own as well, but to no avail. I realized I didn't even want to meet guy. He abandoned me and my mother to fend for ourselves.