My Polaris Star

18| Soon it is February

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: SOON IT IS FEBRUARY

Julie's POV:

"Hey," I say when I find Victor by his locker. He looks up at me and smiles.

"Hey," he responds.

"Uh listen," I begin to say, "About Friday night I just-"

"Don't worry about it," he tells me.

"Thanks," I respond, "I mean it. Though I was too drunk to remember everything I do remember you helping me the whole time. Specifically when I was puking my guts out. I'm like mortified just thinking about it."

Victor lets out a small chuckle. "Really, don't worry about it. That's what friends are for. I hope everything is better now," he says and nods behind me. I turn my head slightly before noticing Charlie making his way toward us. I nod to Victor before greeting Charlie.

The rest of the day goes by swiftly until I am halfway through my shift at the Science Center when I receive a call from my dad. I decide to ignore it. When my shift ends and I'm walking toward my car after saying good-bye to Sofia I notice a familiar truck parked beside me.

I sigh and brace myself as I watch my dad get down from his truck.

"Hi Juliet," he greets me.

"Hi dad." I can't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes. His face is different than usual; he looks tired and though it's only been a couple of months he looks like he's aged years. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to check on you. See how you're doing is all."

I raise my brow and give him a skeptical look. "Are you dying?"

He lets out a small chuckle. "No."

"You don't look well."

"Thanks, I call it my mid-life crisis look. I think it suits me."

"What's really going on dad?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well for one you always take care of yourself. Gotta look your best for work or whatever. And second, isn't this the busiest time at work? So what are you doing here?"

He's quiet for a moment and as I continue to stare at his sunken face I notice his eyes begin to gloss. In a quiet tone, almost a whisper, he says, "It's almost February."

I feel a pang in my heart as his words register in my brain and I realize this is the first time I've ever seen my dad so...broken. All this time all I've ever wanted from him was to show some sort of reaction to Will's death. To show that he actually cares about something other than his damn job. But now that he has, why is it so hard to watch?

"Dad," I say.

"I'm sorry," he tells me, "I've just missed you. And Will. I'm sorry Julie."

Tears form in my eyes and I walk over and envelope him in a hug. Losing my brother was the hardest thing I've gone through. Losing the relationship I had with my dad before Will's death made it even harder to endure so though I'm not happy with how he acted when it was all going down, I can't help but forgive him because I've realized he needs me as much as I need him.

***

"You're awfully quiet," Charlie tells me. We're at the meadow stargazing. "I thought you said everything went okay after seeing your dad yesterday?"

"Yeah it did," I respond and sigh. "It's just time is going by so fast. When my dad told me that it was almost February it was like I couldn't believe it. Like time went by in a blink of an eye and yet it still feels as if Will died not that long ago. I don't know, I guess I feel guilty."