Miara's Mistakes

(113) July 14, 2020

Past

"And you're still talking?" Pinaghalong pagkamangha at pagkalito ang nararamdaman ni Miara. Primo just told her in detail about his past with Cleo.

Long story short, she cheated on him.

On his birthday!

"We're civil, that's all." Primo shrugged, then resting his head on the cabinet behind him.

"I just... wow... I'm sorry, but I'm just both surprised and amazed."

"Amazed?" Napatingin si Primo sa babae, hinihintay ang sagot nito.

"Kasi kung ako sa posisyon mo, hindi ko masisikmura," Miara answered, a faraway look on her face. She turned to Primo and shrugged. "I just think that it takes a lot of courage to be civil with someone who wronged you."

The two were enveloped by silence. Gusto pa ni Miara na kausapin si Primo. Hindi dahil gusto niyang makichismis pero magaan lang talaga ang loob niya sa lalaki.

"Do you mind us staying here?" Ani Primo.

Miara shook her head. "Mawe-weirduhan ka ba kapag sinabi kong nasisiyahan akong kausapin ka?"

Primo's eyes widened for a split second but Miara noticed it still. She replayed her words in her head, then realizing that she might've implied something else.

Nadulas ka! She thought.

"I meant it in a non-creepy way. It's more on the compliment side," she explained. Totoo iyon. Ito rin siguro ang dahilan kung bakit nagugustuhan niya ang lalaki. Though, of course, she doesn't know him really well but still...

What if he has a monstrous side? Just like... Miara shrugged all those thoughts away. Ayaw niyang kuwestiyunin si Primo. At least, not now.

Primo chuckled. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Both the compliment and the non-judgmental listening," he added.

Nagtama ang kanilang mga mata at bigla namang kumabog ang dibdib ni Miara. Maybe it's the effect of staying up late. Or because of the too much crying. Or the message.

Or maybe because you like him and now, you're having a moment! And you like it!

Miara didn't know how to respond so she tapped his shoulders instead. Sinandal niya ang ulo sa cabinet sa likuran, hinihintay lang na may magsalita sa kanilang dalawa.

"I tried to be cold and distant since that seemed attractive to her," Primo shared in a casual tone but Miara was too observant to overlook past it. Nahihimigan niya ang pagkadismaya.

"I stopped talking about academics... and the things that excite me. She used to tell me that I'm being condescending, feeling high and mighty... and that I'm 'too much' for her..."

"But you were just interested," Miara continued for him. She knows how it feels like to be understood. Maybe not in the way Primo was misunderstood, but she knows.

"Mhmm... I really thought I was being condescending. I took personality tests, questioned my own thoughts, and did a lot of self-assessment just so I can point out which part of my personality needs fixing. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me."

Again, Miara didn't know how to respond. It's not because Primo's words are pressuring her to do something. She just wants too.

"When we broke up, I literally got sick," Primo continued, but this time, with a light laugh. It was as if he found the idea amusing. "I think I have separation sickness. I get attached to some people and when they leave... damn, I'm oversharing."

"I'm not an expert in comforting people... but in case you need to lean on something, pwede ang balikat ko." Iyon lang ang tanging nasabi ni Miara.

She wants him to not feel alone. Kung siya ang nasa posisyon ni Primo, she would also want to not feel alone.

Primo just looked at her with a smile while she tapped her shoulder. Surprisingly, Primo did rest his head on her shoulder. Ipinalibot ni Miara ang kaniyang braso sa balikat ng lalaki at mahina itong tinapik-tapik.

"Nah, I think you're an expert in comforting," ani Primo bago umayos ng upo. He went back to his old position—knees bent and his head leaning at the cabinet behind him.

"Binabalik mo lang ang compliment, eh!" Biro ni Miara at saka umismid, para kunyari nagtatampo. "But seriously, I'm just doing what I think should be done... I mean, I've been in a similar situation before and I faced it alone. It wasn't nice, you know. So, I thought that... you know..."

Nagtama muli ang kanilang mga mata at si Miara ang unang umiwas ng tingin. They both got up and bade their good nights.

They both walked towards their room. Pero bago tuluyang pumasok, natigil si Primo sa may pintuan kaya bigla ring tumigil si Miara.

"Thank you, Miara..." ani Primo nang hindi tumitingin kay Miara.

Ilang segundong nanaig ang katahimikan bago hinarap ni Primo si Miara.

"I'm glad you're here."