ℙ𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝔸 𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝 - 𝕂𝕒𝕪𝕔𝕖 𝔻𝕦𝕥𝕥𝕠𝕟

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 10

JANE

I sat there waiting patiently for the judge to return to her seat. The jury was full, as were the courtroom seats. Everyone from the ranch sat on my side, it genuinely surprised me when I saw all the cowboys mosey through the aisles before the trial had begun. I had figured I scared them plum to death, and they would never want to see my face again. 

Even Tate was there, cozied up between Monica and Kayce, who I avoided eye contact with for the entirety of my time being on stand.

My leg bounced uncontrollably, not only was the Judge taking her sweet time, but Jamie was nowhere to be found. He wasn't very pleased with my rant about how I would kill everyone all over again if I could, I believe his choice of wording was that I was 'counterproductive.'

Counterproductive. Please. I really went over the top there, I mean, what else is a girl to do when she's trying to be sentenced to death?

Regardless of my desperation for the sweet release, I was still nervous to hear the verdict. If only the courtroom was empty, I wouldn't mind so much then. But now, I would have to look at the faces of all my newfound friends afterwards. 

I had to sit there and publicly announce the horrors I had been through. Although I don't see an ounce of innocence within me, I could see that it broke their hearts to hear the absurd amount of violence I had persevered in my life. 

The Judge enters the courtroom, we all rise until she dismisses us to take our seats. She glances up at me for a moment but has to do a double take when she realizes Jamie is not with me.

"Ms. Doe. Where is your attorney?"

"I don't know. Wouldn't be surprised if he dipped out early, I think we all know how this is going to go."

"Okay. . . You know. Before we move on to closing statements, I do have a question for you Jane. . . I don't believe in my thirty-plus years as a judge I have ever had a case quite like yours. Nor have I ever had a suspect appease the prosecutor's side. Why is that?"

"W-Well, I-"

"Stand up when you address me."

I shakily stand to my feet before speaking. 

"I don't believe I belong in this world, your honor. I wasn't built for it. I wasn't meant to be like anyone in this courtroom, social and contributive to society. I tried my hand at it. But good things don't last for people like me. My purpose was chosen for me long ago, and now that I've done all I can, fought as long as I could, I don't have a purpose here anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that's what you think. I personally believe with your love for nature, and your. . . talents. I think you would've fit in just fine in Montana. Since your attorney is not present, you are permitted to make your own closing statement. Do you wish to do so?"

"Um. . . Okay." I carefully shuffle over to the podium in the center of the court "You all just heard me, so you know how I feel. But I do want to thank the jury for listening to my story, from what I've been told it's not an easy one to hear. Adding on a 'massacre', I guess that must have made it more difficult for you all to come a conclusion. But you have to know, there is no right and wrong in this situation. No matter what my verdict is, it's never going to bring true justice. Not for me, not for my baby boy, and definitely not for the people on that mountain.  I just hope I made it easier for you. And to my rescuers, to the people who took me in-"

I turn my back to look at the wranglers and Dutton's who were sitting on my side. I looked at each of their somber faces, tears brewing in my eyes. Even Walker, who always was distant and avoiding with me, was shaking his head while he looked to his palms. I make my way through the crowd, and my eyes finally lock onto to Kayce's. He's just as teary eyed and sorrowful as I am.