Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Life's a Bitch and So Am I

I did my best to make sure Billie Joe would be left out of this explanation. I don't need another person thinking I'm crazy. I just want him to believe I'm still in shock from my possible diagnosis, nothing else.

"So you're scared? And it's causing you to stay up at night?"

"Precisely. It's throwing me off. My days are filled with exhaustion, and my nights awake feel like wasted time. No one needs that much time alone with their mind to wander. It needs to shut off, at least for a little. And that's why I need your help."

It felt as if I was trying to build a case in court. I wasn't used to relying on people, and standing here in front of my old classmate nearly begging for drugs felt desperate.

Damion sighed and took a look at his container.

"I've got enough in here for a week. Let me just separate the Benzos and Adderall, and if you still need more by the end of the week, let me know."

He opened up his container in attempt to separate the pills, but I quickly stopped him.

"No!" I call out.

"What?" He looks at me like I'm crazy.

I take a deep breath of air. "I want both."

"You want both?" He repeats.

I fling my fingers through my hair nervously and look down at the cracked pavement.

"Yeah, I want both."

"Why both? I thought you just wanted to sleep."

"Yeah, I just want to sleep. But when I'm awake, I don't want to feel all lagged and shaky. I need to feel focused and stern. Like you used to tell me, one to get through the day, one to get through the night."

"I said that, yeah, but I also was sort of just joking around. I made these pills sound sort of sweet, like a little savior for my daily life...I don't want you to actually think that, Layla. Once you get hooked, it's going to take a lot to stop. I just want you to feel better, I don't want you to get addicted."

"I won't Damion, I promise. Let me have them, please."

"Promise me you'll be careful?"

"C'mon Damion, hand 'em over!" I quickly demand with the shivers.

He moves his band back as I try to grab them.

"Promise..!"

"Fine, fine, I promise!" I snatch them out of his hands. "Now how much do I owe you?"

.* * *

I got home at around 1:30, throwing all my shit off the ground and recklessly running towards the kitchen for a glass of water to go along with my Benzo. At this point, I honestly did not care that I was going to take pills to go to sleep. There was one thing on my mind, and that was Billie. Sure it sounds stupid. There was a huge chance that I wasn't even going to see him, but the curiosity killed me more than anything. I had to know for sure. I had to know for sure.

My bed embraced me as I waited for the drug to kick in. An hour later and I felt this overwhelmingly sleepiness wrap me up. My posters stared me in the eye, waiting for me to finally pass out.

"Hey there, Layla."

I quickly sit up, feeling this surge of energy come over me. I was in my room, on my bed, and standing against the wall across from me was Billie Joe.