Eternal Flight

our terrors

If that's what gentleness and care feels like then I want it to never end. If it came from Wren, I don't think I will ever separate from Wren again.

So mundane- laying in bed together, watching a movie in silence and tender hold- but it feels amazing, it is something that hasn't happened a lot to me, not that way.

I have relaxed and chilled with Perez but Wren feels different. Him and I are and have something Perez and I don't.

Perez is my brother, but Wren would never be that.

It's the first time being so close to him since Monday when I let him get closer than ever. When he had kissed all over me, taken care of my pain. I don't know what it meant. For anything. For us. At all.

I had felt safe and free. I felt like this was right and it felt good. Despite me becoming a stranger to myself and alienating from sex, growing to hate it; that time there with Wren had felt like the best thing ever, better than all the sex I've had. Heaven for angels that aren't me.

We fell asleep somewhere along the night, because I woke up this morning cuddled up with Wren. A gentle arm holding around my bare stomach, my shirt having ridden up.

A grip tender enough to feel loving, a hand firm enough to make me feel protected, because at this point I think he would do just that- protect me- if needed.

I may hate the feeling, feeling pathetic and needy. Not liking the idea of being saved or needing protection of a boy. In this moment, at the start of a new day, a new reality I allow myself to feel protected.

An instant feeling of distaste like a icebucket pours over me- is that possible, would he actually?

Kian has escaped my room because he is nowhere to be seen, only the sensation of Wren's breathing against the back of my head.

I turn my body slightly from lying on my side. I see his eyes closed and he is relaxed, looking all peaceful and calm, no stones set on his face.

Moving away a bit, attempting to sit up and leave the bed, in vain. His grip tightens and when I snap my head to look at him, eyes still closed he's grinning like a devil.

I gape, "You-"

"Me what?" He whispers. My eyes move to his mouth, those lips that have this strange calling for me to feel them and his smile that is borderline goofy, tormenting me.

I go to move again, but he isn't letting me, "Let me go"

"No"

???

"Please,"

"Oh, you're begging?" His grin sharpens into evil smirk.

"No, I am not, Wren."

"Uhh," He whisper. "Really that serious to call  my name? No baby, or love or anything?"

Oh...?

"Wren..."

"No."

With my last attempt to escape he has woken up enough to pull me to lay on my back, him hovering above me. With that grin still intact I see his hands moving towards me and the next second he's tickling me.

I try to hold it back, but I hate tickles and I fucking scream.

"What?" He laughs.

Laughs?

He's kidding, right?

"Stop, please stop,"

"Why?" Why? Does he hate me? Does he actually brutally hate me?