overworked and under-informed

it's not never

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗

✬˖༄ ♡ ࿐*✬

karl hasn't taken his anxiety meds in... he can't remember how long. he can't usually predict when he's going to be anxious, since it's often so random, so he has no chance to take them in advance. plus, he always manages to convince himself against it because maybe, just maybe, this time he will be okay. maybe this time the anxiety won't win.

not today.

today, he took his suggested dose of two tablets, and swallowed them down with his breakfast and a tall glass of water. his mom definitely noticed, eyeing him from across the table, but she didn't ask so he didn't tell.

despite that, his heart is beating fast as he stands outside jenny's house, bracing himself. he's not the slightest bit breathless, which is nice, and the only visible sign of his nerves is the way he keeps shaking out his hands, but he'll stop that once he knocks on the door.

karl was truly prepared to not turn up to work. jenny had texted him, letting the brunette know that she gets out midday on monday, so karl was just going to pick up his shifts like normal at 4 on monday.

he was brought to real physical tears when sapnap messaged him this morning, checking if he is still able to come. it's not even like he doesn't want to work or see the ravenette, he just can't face the embarrassment.

can't... but he has to.

karl sucks in a breath, endlessly grateful for the calming effects of his medication, and lifts his fist to the door, knocking twice.

hardly five seconds last before the lock clicks and the door opens to reveal sapnap. he got there so quickly that karl wonders if he was waiting, but he quickly squishes the thought when he realises how ridiculous it sounds. why would sapnap be waiting for him?

he briefly takes in sapnap's appearance, noticing that his hair looks scruffy, even hidden beneath his cap, and his t-shirt (woah, sapnap wearing something other than a shirt in the middle of the day, when he's surely been working?) has a small mark by the collar, like he dropped a bit of food and didn't realise that it left a stain.

"afternoon," karl greets politely, diverting his gaze. his anxiety might be subsided, but his humiliation is in full force. he is probably bright red, and the thought only makes him more embarrassed.

"hey," sapnap greets, stepping aside. karl offers him a short nod as he steps into the house past the ravenette, moving over so he can kick off his shoes. "karl..." sapnap starts, and the brunette's head whips up at the tense sound of his voice, "can we talk?"

impossibly, karl's heart bottoms out. medication aside, his throat closes. "not really," he replies, looking back at his shoes as he nudges them into place. he looks back up at sapnap and takes a step backwards towards the lounge, "i have to work."

he turns at a ninety-degree angle to push open the door to his side and step into the lounge. his gaze darts across the space, looking for benji. looking for any distraction.

"he isn't here."

again, karl's head moves quickly back to face the other male. his attention locks in on sapnap's rosy cheeks and his restless fingers toying together before him. "what?"