overworked and under-informed

not my problem

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗

✬˖༄ ♡ ࿐*✬

karl's chest is rapidly rising and falling as he shuts the front door behind himself, leaning back against it for some sense of stability.

"i don't understand why you're so upset with me?"

he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. the breath burns down his throat, all the way to his lungs, and it comes out choked when he exhales again. the brunette brings a hand to his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart through the layers of skin and material.

"i'm not upset, i just want to know if i did something."

karl's throat feels like it's strangling itself, getting tighter and tighter with every shaky breath he fails to take.

"you didn't do anything, karl. it's about what you didn't do."

he squeezes the cotton material of his shirt into his fist, apathetic to how the material scratches against his sensitive skin. the urge to punch his chest is so strong, as if that will help anything, but karl manages to stop himself from letting his emotions take over into violence.

"what do you mean?"

the brunette pries his eyes open, wincing at the brightness that overcomes him. he steps away from the front door, his legs shaky and unsteady as he floats closer to the kitchen.

"you're so scared to make friends, it's draining. i don't want to have one friend for the rest of my life."

a quick glance around the bottom floor tells him that his mom isn't home, meaning she's probably caught up doing overtime at work and might not be back for hours to come.

"you're allowed other friends, i don't mind. i just don't want to be left behind."

"i can't deal with you anymore, karl. your anxiety is so fucking draining, i don't want to have to deal with it twenty-four/seven."

he was banking on the fact that she'd be home to help, but she isn't. he hasn't got time to ride out the waves of his panic before work, and he doesn't know how well he can placate himself without his mothers help in such a short amount of time. so he throws caution to the wind and leaves the house again.

the walk to his car passes in a blink and, by the time he is sitting in the driver's seat once more, his eyes are starting to burn with tears. he wills them to leave, rubbing too harshly at his eyes to force them to dry.

"but what does this mean for us?"

if karl was still working for jenny, he would message her and ask to switch his shift to a different day. after the living hell he endured at school today, he feels like he's falling apart and he's fucking desperate for a break. unfortunately, jenny is still hospitalised for the unforeseeable future and karl doesn't have the courage to message sapnap. he already feels like the ravenette man hates him.

so karl puts his car into drive and forces himself to go, despite the thumping of his heart and the shortness of his breath. it's entirely unsafe, and he curses himself with every second he is driving, but the clock is ticking closer and closer to four and the last thing he needs is to be late.