Really?

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Act 1, Scene 2: 

[Lights rise on LUCIFER, who stands before the Elder Council of Heaven, Lilith stands closely behind. GABRIEL, MICHAEL, and SERA sit at the table, there's two empty chairs at the large, imposing tabletop.]

GABRIEL: The rules were clear, Lucifer.

LUCIFER: Come on, she's fine! I see no good reason–

MICHAEL: Enough! Brother, we were clear about our expectations of you. Regardless of the questions you have, you are in no place–

LUCIFER: Oh please! Your expectations are ridiculous! How can you expect Lilith and I–or any of the humans, for that matter–to follow this 'plan' we aren't even able to see?!!

SERA: Lucifer, you fail to see the issue.

LUCIFER: I know, I know! You said I couldn't go to Earth...But I did... and it was incredible.

GARBRIEL: No, Lucifer. It is not incredible. While we did suspect you, and eventually Lilith, would taste the fruit forbidden by the Lord, now because of your little serpent, Eve tasted the fruit; and now, Adam too may fall. You have no idea the damage you have caused.

LILITH: Adam may fall?

MICHAEL: Oh, right, Lucifer, I see, you took it upon yourself to bring the first human you doomed with you.

LUCIFER: What do you mean he may fall, brother?

MICHAEL: Oh-ho-ho! That's right! I forgot–you haven't been here. Well, let me inform you, brother. After you foolishly went to Earth, after being told not to, directly, you then persuaded the first humans you saw into doing the one thing they were told not to do.

LUCIFER: Well, I-

SERA: Enough, all of you. There were unforeseen consequences to your visit.

LUCIFER: [Caught off-guard:] -What?

MICHAEL: You need to understand Lucifer, while you may not know why you do the things you do, we on the other hand do think things all the way through.

SERA: Michael, please. Be civil.

LILITH: Would you spit it out, please?

GABRIEL: Evil has found its way into Earth. It's only a matter of time before sin takes control.

LUCIFER: What? How? All we did was–?[Fuck, like hard-core!!]

[Silence fills the air, LILITH's next question strikes even her off guard:]

LILITH: Why wouldn't you tell Lucifer this would happen?

GABRIEL: What?

LILITH: You could have prevented all of this if you had told us! We wouldn't have–[made hot steamy love ig]

MICHAEL: What?

LUCIFER: Hmm?

MICHAEL: You wouldn't have what?

LILITH: Nothing.

GABRIEL: Enough. What's done is done. Lilith, you are with a child.

MICHAEL: WHAT–

LILITH: How did you know?

LUCIFER: [To Lilith, sweetly:] Really?

MICHAEL: [Can't hold it in any longer] NO fuckInG WaYY–

SERA: Michael-

[MICHAEL cackles hysterically as the lights fade.]

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