depollute me, pretty baby (short, soft mcyt oneshots)

an unconventional wedding

god i love this website ^^

scarian requested by @.PotatoLlama55 on quotev.

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"let's get married."

grian's eyes popped wide open. "what?!" he shouted, alarmed.

"what?" asked scar, as innocently as he dared. "it's a nice day for a wedding! the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and september, overall, is a pretty good month."

"scar, we're not even engaged!"

scar shrugged. "yeah, so?"

"i mean, people usually get engaged before they get married."

scar waved a hand. "ah, who cares about all that? it's a good day to get married, so we should get married!"

grian sighed. "who would we even get to marry us? i'm sure most people wouldn't do it on such short notice."

scar's face scrunched up in thought. "there's those wedding officiant courses online, right? we could just get mumbo or someone to do it quick."

"i mean, that's not a half bad idea," grian said after some consideration. "it would be really funny to have mumbo attempt to marry us."

"see!" scar burst out. "it'll be perfect! c'mon, let's get up and get mumbo!" he just about dragged grian out of bed, and then he almost collapsed and decided that it might be a wheelchair day. as soon as scar was all set, though, he was leaving the apartment and wheeling across the hall to mumbo's. 

about an hour later, a few guests were gathered, mumbo was a wedding officiant, and grian and scar were all dressed up (which was something scar had been insistent needed to happen). scott played some wedding music on his phone, and the ceremony officially began. 

grian walked down the 'aisle' (really just a predetermined line from the kitchenette to the living room) towards scar, careful not to trip on the end of his make-shift veil (really just a white bedsheet). behind scar, mumbo fidgeted, and, from the side, the audience consisting of scott, impulse, gem, and skizz watched raptly as grian approached his soon-to-be husband. when he finally reached where scar was, the music was turned off, and mumbo began his speech.

"uhhh, hello all, and welcome to this special matrimony— is that the right word?— between grian and scar. uhhhh, i really don't know what to say here. should i just go on to the vows?"

"yes, please," called gem from the audience.

"alright, uh, you may say your vows now, i guess? scar, you can start."

"i'll be honest, i don't have anything," said scar.

"neither do i," added grian.

mumbo cleared his throat nervously. skizz handed him a glass of water, and he gulped down about half of it before handing it back. "well, i guess it's time for the marriage, then?" 

everyone nodded. 

"right. well, uh, scar, will you always stick by grian's side, in sickness and in health?"

"yeah."

"and grian, will you always stick by scar's side, in sickness and health?"

"uh-huh."

"cool." mumbo wiped his sweaty hands on his suit jacket. "well then, by the powers invested in me by a rather dodgy website, i now pronounce you husband and husband."

"woooo!" cheered impulse.

"you may now kiss the groom, i suppose?" 

everyone whooped as the newly-married husbands kissed, except gem, who said, "ew, gross."

after that, scott put on his party playlist, grian dug a half-eaten carton of ice cream out of the freezer, and skizz showed off some questionable dance moves. jimmy came knocking just as the party was ending, because of course he would; that was classic him, and was turned away immediately. 

and so, all was well in the world, except for the fact mumbo could legally marry people now.

the end.

***

author's note

word count: 593

i don't know where in my brain this came from, but i wrote this before going to bed and had already taken my melatonin so i was kinda tired, so that probably explains some of it at least.

anyways, potatollama, i hope you enjoyed this mess of a oneshot lol. 

have a great day!

-blu