cowboy like me - yoongi x reader

perched in the dark

october 1793

"thank you."

realizing yoongi isn't going to say anything back again, you let out a deep sigh as he silently cleans the cut on your cheek. it luckily isn't deep enough to leave a scar, but it stings. especially with the cold winds.

you try to find yoongi's gaze for any kind of interaction, but he pretends not to notice, so you just watch his hands which are still slightly trembling from the fever, as he grabs a wet cloth to wipe off the blood on your face that isn't yours.

you really thought he'd leave you when you saw him put his gun away, but yoongi shot him before you even could process what was going on.

he's been silent ever since. it almost feels like he's angry at you, but that wouldn't make sense. you're not the one to blame. it's not like you wanted this to happen. maybe he's having a hard time dealing with the fact he just killed someone. maybe he's in shock.

"you did the right thing," you say softly with a small smile, trying to comfort him.

he looks up at you, his eyes glaring daggers into yours before he angrily throws the cloth to the ground, causing you to flinch at his sudden anger.

blinking in shock, you watch him walk away and leaves you clueless. you don't understand why he's acting like this. you wish he'd just say what's wrong instead of shutting you out.

you wish he'd talk to you. his voice is still comforting, even if he's fighting with you. you want him to distract you from the scene replaying in your head and the lingering touches you can still feel on your skin.

but he never does.

so you're forced to spend the rest of the day in agonizing silence. yoongi barely affirms your existence. he doesn't respond to anything you say or do. he doesn't even let you take care of his fever.

you sit by the fire at night, playing with the nuts and berries in your hands instead of eating them. your stomach is still twisted in knots as your concern and fear grows. not only is he angry at you, he's also looking worse than ever. his face is drained of any color and he's shivering constantly.

"you can have my food if you'd like," you offer again, hoping he'll accept your help.

no answer.

"yoongi, please," you prompt again, "if you're mad at me, just say so."

he doesn't respond, but his face says it all. you can feel the tears starting to burn just at the idea of yoongi blaming you for this, your eyes flickering with sadness.

"why?"

he scoffs. "why? because you fucking ruined everything."

"excuse me?" you exclaim, "how did i ruin everything?"

his jaw clenches. "that bullet wasn't meant for him. i had one shot. one shot to kill my brother and get my life back and i fucking wasted it on some useless fucking asshole."

"wasted?" you repeat in disbelief, your voice raised, "you think saving my life is a waste of a bullet?"

"you don't understand," he grumbles, turning away from you.

"no, i get it. you wish you'd let that guy ra–"

"shut up!"

________________

he watches your eyes widen in surprise at his harsh voice. he never raised his voice at you. ever. and you've had some pretty nasty fights before.

"do you have any idea how fucking scared i was?" yoongi says, his tone softer.