The courting trap

Threats

I can't believe I started to warm up to him. I kissed him, he was my first kiss how horrible. I kissed the man that took my best friend away from me. "I promise." -I will make him pay, nobody hurts Estelle.

I'm supposed to get married to a manipulative narcissist in three days.

I calmed an anxious Estelle down, and told her to get some rest. I pretended to fall asleep myself, but as soon as I heard my door close my eyes flicked open. What am I going to do?

I had the worst night of sleep ever. I was pondering all night long, I didn't sleep a wink and now I'm living the nightmare.

I had no appetite this morning. I did not attend breakfast, because I was afraid. Not of Nicholas, but Afraid for him of course. I wasn't sure I could keep myself under control, I might have attacked him if he as much as looked my way.

But now it is time, to face him. I want to let him know exactly how I feel. I want him to hurt like I did. I feel way less guilt over ripping his letters now, I should have destroyed the rest of his personal belongings too.

I am waiting in front of his door now, I'm not sure on what I am waiting. Maybe to gather my words and mentally prepare myself.

I should probably knock.

Without it a warning I slam his door open so hard it bangs against the wall and almost shuts again due to the force. "Good afternoon noon." I say with a straight face.

He jumps up from his chair, in flight or fight mode. "What are you doing barging in like that!" He yells.

I grab the door as if I'm inspecting it. "I think there's something wrong with it actually. It opens really easily." I close the door, not wanting to attract any intruders.

"Yeah right." He scoffs, not convinced. "Why are you here?" He asks as he walk up to me. His fingers finds mine and I harshly pull my hand away from his hold. "What's going on with you today?" He asks, taking a step back.

"I don't think you should be the one asking the questions." I grit out.

His eyes go up as if he's trying to remember something. How can he not remember what he has done to Estelle and I.

"You seriously can't even remember?" I scoff, my jaw is on the floor in surprise. I guess treating people like absolute shit is normal to him.

"Just tell me what it is! Jezus!" The pitch in his voice rises in frustration. He starts pacing around his room, one hand in his hair and the other in his pocket.

My hands rest on my hip and my heel taps on the wooden floor, since I'm feeling impatient. "I am not going to tell you. You did something very out of line and you don't even remember it! This just shows you don't care about it at all, and neither do you care about my feelings." Then I realise that if I cared about what he thinks of my feelings, he might think I care about him. So I take my words back. "Not that I expected you to care, I don't care. But you should know that whatever was going on between us the past week," I point between us. "Is now over."

"I genuinely can't remember what I did." He once again makes his way over to me. "Can't you just tell me, that would make it a lot easier for me." His wraps his warm hands around my upper arms, looking my deeply in my eyes as if he would be able to find the answer in them.

"Nicholas, I won't tell you. It would make things very complicated for me and others." I shouldn't have said it involved others, but it slipped out. "I just thought that after the lake, we were actually getting along more decently." He smiles at me. "But you have ruined it now and I truly wish I never started to think more highly of you." I rip his hands of my arms.

I turn around to walk out of the room, but he stops me by grabbing my hand and pulling me back towards him. "I haven't even done anything to you since then." His brows are furrowed.

"Yes you have. The worst thing you could do to me!" I try to break free from his hand, but it's so strongly wrapped around mine, it's of no use. It's not in a way to hurt me, more in a desperate way. "Just let go Nicholas. I don't want anything to do with you anymore!"

He lets go at once and I almost tumble backwards. "Too bad we're going to get married in three days and there's nothing you can do about it." His demeanour changes, I can tell he's getting more furiated now.

"Just because we're going to get married," I take a few steps forward towards him. "doesn't mean I will ever be nice to you, talk to you or especially, touch you." I push him on his chest, and he takes a step back to steady himself.

He stays silent for a second, not saying a word. He just stares at me with fury in his eyes. "I don't know why you are acting like we were ever anything more than just two people who have a deep rooted hatred for each other. There has never been anything between us." He talks so slowly, it almost sounds ominous. He stares at me in a confronting manner. Then he just laughs in my face, making me feel stupid. How does he find this funny?

"And there never will be." I speak up. "I will make sure of it. Our marriage will be your worst nightmare, I can promise you that."

"Oh sweetheart," he tucks my hair behind my ear, I close my eyes focusing on his touch, it almost feels uncomfortable now. "No matter how bad you are, I will always be worse." He takes my chin between his fingers and forces me to look up at him. "I would watch your mouth if I were you."

I grab his wrist and pull his hand off of my face. "You know me better than that."

"You're right, I've got you all figured out." He walks over to his desk and sits down in a man spread.

I cross my arms and raise my brows in doubt, urging him to go on. How could he know me? We barely had any normal conversation, most of ours were just fights.

"You are the only child, so your parents were always very strict on you, you had to be the perfect heir. You had all this responsibility and you can't handle it, so you run away from it and act feral. You can barely be considered a woman, I've seen farmers' daughters who had better courtesy than you." He throws a red apple in the air and catches it again, taking a big bite. Every word he says feels like a another stab, the worst part is how unbothered he looks by all of this, and he's not done yet.

"Truth is you really just hate yourself, and then you rely on others to make you feel better about yourself so much, that when you're alone for and there is nobody to tell you how amazing you are, you try to kill yourself. It's pathetic." He leans his head back in a blunt cackle, leaning his feet on the corner of his desk. The worst part is that I think there is some truth in his words.

I expected the worst from him, but for him to say all those harsh things without even showing a little bit of sympathy even surpassed my expectations. He took advantage of the most vulnerable moment of my life. "You are the reason I was by myself. This is all your fault you sadistic, egocentric nobody!" I scream at the top of my lungs, tears threatening to spill.

The smile never leaves his face, as if he takes pleasure out of this. "So that's what this is all about." Oh god, I ran my mouth. "You could have just said so, it's hilarious how easy it was to get your little friend away from you."

I am not able to catch my breath, since I am so furious. "Don't act like you don't hate yourself. You have never had anybody care about you, and that's why you hurt others who do. You're just such a bloody prick!" I hesitate if I should say this, "I wish you never saved me, I'd rather be dead than spent the rest of my life with you."

"That's something I agree on." He takes another bite of the apple while still looking at me.

"No wonder nobody loves you." I try to keep my volume down, but it's way harder than it should be. He drops his apple on the floor and it rolls away. A threatening atmosphere takes over the room.

He immediately goes quiet at my words and his smile drops. That's my sign to leave. I make a 180-degree turn and hurry out of his room. I hear his heavy footsteps trailing behind me, but I shut the door after me just in time. A loud bang on the door makes me flinch and I quickly run back to my room.