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CINDY WAS QUIET the rest of the day. Very quiet. Not silent. Ellie spoke to her, and she spoke back. Joel saw the disturbance etched on her face. He saw how she was trying to shield it for Ellie. God, he wanted to torture that piece of shit that put his hands on her.
They'd barely stopped walking since. All the way to Shelton, Nebraska. The twilight cast long shadows through the quiet town as the group made their way through the empty streets.
Darkness began to cloak the town as Joel spotted a secure apartment block for the night on the outskirts. He meticulously secured the door with a wire that was tangled in a bundle of rubble outside the doors of the apartment.
Inside the dimly lit room, Cindy settled in a corner, her gaze fixed on the wall, an attempt to distance herself from the traumatising memories of the day. She was mad. At herself. She felt so vulnerable and humiliated and she was scolding herself for not fighting harder. She could've. She was a fighter. She didn't know what made her freeze up so much; she shock, the panic, the shame. She was just grateful Joel got to her when he did. Thinking about what could've happened made her want to throw up.
Joel watched her, a silent but deep concern bore into his features. Ellie watched her too. Worried. Her eyebrows pressed together and she nudged Joel gently. "Joel... what happened?" She whispered.
Joel's eyes darkened and his jaw clenched, but he reassured Ellie, like Cindy had asked, "she got jumped. Just... shook her up a little. Didn't see it comin'. Happens."
"She's gonna be okay, though, right?" She pressed.
"Yeah." Joel said. "Yeah, of course. She's got this. Just gonna take a little time."
Ellie nodded and rolled over, drifting into sleep. Joel sat in the quiet apartment, his thoughts lingering on the events that had unfolded.
An almost inaudible whimper pierced the silence, catching Joel's attention. He turned to see Cindy, her face covered with stress, gasping as she woke from a restless sleep. Concern engraved deeply in his eyes, Joel rolled over, facing her quietly.
"Cindy." he whispered, the gentleness in his voice a stark contrast to his usual grumble.
Cindy didn't respond immediately, her tear-stained eyes already revealing her turmoil. In a moment of helplessness, she burst into silent sobs, the weight of the day came crashing down on her. Joel, without hesitation, pushed himself up and sat beside her, drawing her into a comforting embrace.
He felt her grip tighten. She was clinging onto him. Joel pulled her close and she completely collapsed into his arms. In the fragile intimacy of the moment, Cindy acknowledged to herself how safe she felt against Joel's chest. That was the only place she wanted to be at the minute. She felt so secure.
"You're okay, sweet girl, I got you." She heard Joel whisper.
"I c-could've fuckin' shot him, J-Joel." She sobbed. "M-my gun... it was in my belt." She lifted her head from his chest and his gaze met hers, her lip wobbled. "... I was too scared, Joel. A-and I hate myself for it."
Joel gently unwrapped his arms from around her and shuffled so he was sitting directly in front of her. "I want you to listen carefully to what I'm about to say, Cindy." He started. "Men like that are weak. You wanna know why? Because they can only get what they want when someone is feeling scared, humiliated and vulnerable. Right there, in that moment when he had a knife to your throat, he didn't give you a choice about what to feel. What were you supposed to do, reach for your gun and get your throat slit?"
Cindy shook her head. "I just wish there was somethin' I coulda done."
"I know you do." Joel said. "And so do I, but there wasn't, and he knew that, too. You gotta understand that was not your fault. It will never be your fault, no matter what you feel. People like him know what this will do to someone, and they deserve to be goddamn burned alive for it." He said.
"I just can't stop thinking about what would've happened if you wasn't there." Cindy frowned, looking at the floor.
"And I wish I could take those thoughts away from you." Joel said, gently and cautiously, sliding his hand across the floor towards hers. "But you don't have to worry about any of that now. Or what he's gonna do to anyone else ever again. Know why?" He eyes slowly looked up to meet his. She had a small smile on her face, that Joel mimicked when he saw it. "Cause you stuck that damn knife in his throat. Attagirl." He smiled when she chuckled.
"He fuckin' deserved it." She didn't push his hand away from hers. She welcomed it.
"He fuckin' did." Joel agreed, giving her hand a squeeze. "Rid the world of another rat."
The two sat in silence for a moment. It was content. They were content. Joel looked at Cindy. How genuinely breathtaking she was. Big brown eyes and soft lashes, and her slightly chapped lips with that subtle cupids bow. The curls on her head that she always complained about that he thought were just stunning.
Cindy stared at their hands. Their fingers were intertwined but their palms weren't pressed together. Joel's hands were big and calloused, and his nails were short. Thick veins ran from the back of his hand all the way up his forearm. His thumb gently brushed up and down the side of her finger until he eventually pulled his fingers away and instead grabbed her whole hand in his, giving it a squeeze.
"You should get some rest." He whispered.
Cindy nodded, letting go of his hand and sliding herself back down onto the floor, rolling onto her side facing the wall again. She turned her head to the side a little, but not all the way, and pursed her lips. "Night, Joel."
The corner of Joel's lips tugged up slightly. "Good night, Cind."
