Lust - Dallas Winston

46

For the next two days I hitch hiked and I jumped on every train I could.  

I ended up in Austin, Texas. 

I had hardly any money, I had nothing   but the clothes on my back, and what was in my bag. 

I managed by quickly making friends with the rodeo people that came through. 

For the next two months I hopped houses between friends, went out to bars and rodeos scoring free drinks and food from anyone that seemed to spark an interest in me. 

Though I wasn't home and it was good to get away from everyone, all I could think about was Tulsa and the gang.  

Johnny and Twobit were probably worried sick, searching around for me.  

Darry and Ponyboy probably stayed up late every night hoping I would walk in that front door. 

Soda and Steve probably asked everyone that came into the DX station if they had seen me around or heard anything. 

And Dallas...

Dallas probably didn't give a damn about where I was or if I was even alive. 

That day he yelled at me and said all those terrible things, was always stuck on the back of my mine. 

Every night I laid down, that played through my head.

It's hard to sleep at night when your heart gets heavy like that. 

I just didn't understand how it got so bad so quickly between us. 

I think it bothered me the most how easily he said I was nothing to him.  

How easy I was to him, and that's the only reason he talked to me and slept with me. 

I think I really do love Dallas, but he doesn't love me. 

Why was I so hard to deal with?

...

I stood at the fencing inside a rodeo, watching the bull riders do their thing.  

'Please, give me a sign.' I thought to myself, as I sipped my beer. 

"Hey, how'd you end up way down here?" I familiar voice asked. 

I looked over my right shoulder. 

Next to me stood Buck Merrill. 

"I'm surprised you even recognized me." I smiled at him. 

"Hard to miss you even in this big of a crowd." He smiled back. 

"I guess so, I'm just trying to blend in the best I could." I replied. 

Buck's smile faded into a more serious face, as he took off his bull riding gloves. 

"You know the boys are still looking for you.  Johnny stops by just about every day asking if you showed up at my door step.   Darry stops by too, they are all worried about you." Buck told me. 

My chest grew tight.  

I couldn't help but feel guilty. 

I felt bad that people were worried, especially Johnny. 

"What about Dallas?" I sort of mumbled out, as I kicked the dirt under my shoes. 

"I don't see him as often as I did.   He stopped staying at my place when you left, Johnny said he looks around town all day for you. Johnny said he's been sleeping at the Curtis house in your bed." Buck stepped closer to me. 

He took his jacket off, and wrapped it around my shoulders. 

Tears seemed to welt up in my eyes. 

Buck wrapped his arm around me, and comforted me.  

By the way Buck looked at me, I think he could tell how truly heart broken I was.  

Buck was always a good friend of mine, and always tried to help me when he could. 

"Let's get you home.  You can ride with me back to Tulsa.  How's that sound?" Buck asked me. 

I took a long deep breath to calm myself, to try to keep myself from crying. 

"I don't know, Buck.  Me and Dallas got into it really bad one day, that's why I left. What if we start arguing again and it gets really bad? Besides, I don't think that I can go back right now. I never paid a ticket I had two months ago, I think I got a warrant out by now." I sighed, as I looked over at him. 

Buck gave me a reassuring smile. 

"Dallas came to me one day a while back asking for some money. He said he had to pay a small ticket for you, so I gave him the money and told him not to worry about it. I think Dallas is taking you being gone the hardest."

"You didn't have to do that, I'll pay you back." I told him. 

"Don't worry about it, I wanted to." He told me.  

"Thank you, Buck." I replied, as the two of us walked through the crowd of people. 

Buck led me to the parking lot and to his truck, and he helped me into the passenger side.  

He hopped into the truck and started it.  

"Let's get you home.  I think everyone will be happy to have you back.  I'll find a pay phone somewhere on the way back and give Darry a call to let him know you're with me and your ok." Buck told me, as he lit a cigarette and handed it to me. 

"Thank you, Buck." I thanked him again, as we drove off. 

"Get some sleep on the way home, you're gonna need it." Buck told me. 

I finished my cigarette, closed my eyes and leaned my head on Buck's shoulder.  

I relaxed and went to sleep.