Lust - Dallas Winston

12

By the time I had fallen asleep, I was somewhat satisfied with Johnny and I's conversation. 

It could have ended up worse. 

We didn't start bickering or arguing, so I had nothing to complain about. 

Or, so I had thought. 

That next morning I was woken up by Dallas's voice. 

His low voice always carried, no matter how quiet he tried to talk. 

I could always pick Dallas out of a room full of people, just by his voice. 

I could hear Johnny talking to Dallas. 

I opened my eyes, and they were no where too be seen. 

They must be in the hall, just outside of the room. 

"So, what's up with you and her? You guys are acting weird." Johnny said. 

"Nothing man, what are you talking about?" Dallas defended himself. 

Oh, no. 

Johnny, dont. 

"You two are just, acting.... different." Johnny responded. 

"Maybe, I'm turning a new leaf." Dallas spoke sarcastically. 

"You guys are acting like you kissed or something." Johnny said sheepishly. 

Oh, shit. 

Why the hell did he say that?!

"Are you high?!" Dallas's tone changed dramatically. 

His voice grew stern. 

"No." Johnny regretted saying anything to Dallas now. 

Now you really did it now, Johnny. 

"Don't you ever say that! You think I would ever kiss her ugly mug?! You couldn't pay me every damn dollar in the world to do that.  She's nothing to me, man." Dallas spat.

Oh.

Oh.

I pulled the covers over my head, and I seemed to sink into the mattress a little more. 

Is that what he really thought of me?

Am I really that ugly?

Am I really just nothing to Dallas?

How- how could he say that?

Why would he say that?

After kissing me, fucking me, and asking me to prom?

I don't know what I did to make him hate me this much. 

Does Dallas hate me?

He must hate me, in order for him to be this cruel. 

I thought we had something going. 

I could feel myself starting to cry silently, as my bedroom door creaked open. 

"Time to get up for school." Johnny shook me softly. 

I couldn't go to school. 

I don't think I could even look at myself in the mirror right now. 

"I don't feel good.  I'm not going.  Tell Darry to call me in." I mumbled out. 

"What's wrong?" Johnny asked. 

"My head hurts real bad.  The light makes it worse.  Close the blinds, would ya?" I quickly made up a lie.  

Johnny closed the blinds to the small window in the room. 

"Alright, I hope you feel better. I'll see you after school." Johnny gave me a small pat, before leaving. 

I waited till everyone left, and the house fell silent. 

I cried, I bawled my eyes out all day. 

I cried all day. 

My stomach hurt, and I was nauseous. 

My face was red and puffy. 

My lungs hurt with every breath I took. 

I don't know what I did to deserve this.

I felt so dirty. 

I felt so used.   

"Hey, you alright? Johnny said you were sick, man." Dallas entered my room, when they all came back from school later that afternoon. 

"Fuck off." I told him. 

"What's got you all upset?" Dallas asked at the sight of my tear stained face. 

"You, Dallas! YOU!" I screamed at him, as I crawled out of bed. 

I stood tall before him, as anger filled my body. 

Dallas threw his hands up in defense. 

"What I do?" He asked. 

My eyes narrowed at him. 

"I heard what you said to Johnny.  I fucking heard you Dallas! I'm ugly! I'm nothing!" I screamed at him. 

Dallas's expression fell, as his heart dropped into his stomach. 

I could feel my throat grow tight. 

"What was I supposed to say? Why you telling him my business? I did you a favor, the less he knows... the better." Dallas simply said. 

"So, that's really what you think of me?" My voice trembled, as it grew quieter. 

"No its not-" Dallas tried to say. 

"Get out." I cut him off. 

Dallas stood there, looking at me with soft eyes.

His face, trying to manipulate me into changing my mind. 

"Get OUT!" My voice ripped through the air. 

Dallas jumped a little bit, startled. 

Before he turned, and quickly walked out.