The Berserker

24

"Kari," I hear him speak my name, but I don't react. "Look at me!" His hands cup my face briefly before his arms embrace me. My body shudders at the contact, but I can't seem to bring myself to pull away.

"He is gone," Tormad assures me. I knew that much. I felt the warm liquid of his blood dripping on my back. I can still feel the weight of his body, as it lay on top of me for only a few seconds.

"I didn't let him finish inside of you," Tormad tries so hard to placate this situation. As if I cared about him releasing his seed inside of me. What's done was done. My stomach heaved. The burn of bile forcing its way up was painful.

I don't know how long we were seated like this, but the battle has long since finished. The smell of decomposed bodies ferments the air, causing my stomach to lurch and spill whatever resides - which is nothing as I was not fed for those few days I was taken.

"Come." Tormad stands and carefully helps me to my feet. "Let's get you cleaned."

Clean! Yes. I want to do that. I numbly follow Tormad as he leads me somewhere to clean myself. I don't remember seeing any water nearby.

"I only have this." He holds out a rag. This wouldn't do much, but it will help me somewhat. "Once we settle up camp elsewhere. You can bathe all you like."

He reaches out to me, causing me to flinch and step out of his reach. Tormad sighed, "Kari, I am only trying to help."

He reaches out again, and this time I don't move. I didn't have the energy to undress, let alone wipe myself down with a wet rag. And I trust Tormad. We are well away from the aftermath of the battle. I can't only hear the birds in the trees and Tormad's heavy breathing as he tries to contain himself.

For a berserker, he is gentle to me. Not once has he laid an unwanted hand on me. I know his hands can kill without mercy. He didn't hesitate when he killed his father. I don't think I could do that. Though my father wasn't a monster, like Ivar. My father was a good man. A devoted man to God. My God, not this ideation of a warrior God. I bring my hand up to my neck to find the cross that was given to me by my parents, but it isn't there.

"Where is it?" I babble, pushing Tormad out of my way. "I have lost it! I need to find it!"

Tormad reaches out to grab a hold of me, but I sidestep him and make a run towards the battleground. I am aware I have next to no clothes on, but the longer I am left without my necklace, the more I feel God has forsaken me.

"Kari, wait!" Tormad calls out. I hear him running after me. His boots thunder against the ground. I duck under a low-hanging branch and skid to a stop when many eyes glance in my direction. These men are Tormad's men. They wouldn't harm me, not like Ivars. My eyes land on familiar dark eyes, causing my heart to thud against my ribs.

Tormad comes to a stop right behind me. His hand rests on my shoulder, and I jerk my head to look at him. I look between the two brothers. Tormad didn't look like his father, the Igor was a replica.

"We are kin," Tormad murmurs against my ear. "Just not blood."

I turn to him and stare into his deep blue eyes. "I am the son of Odin."

My mouth gapes, and I can't seem to process what he is telling me. "No one must know," Tormad says. "Igor is the only other who I have told." He jerks his head over to Igor. "I trust him with my life."

This has me snorting. "You trust like a fool," I murmur. Thinking about how he let Freya come close and how she betrayed him.

Tormad's eyes fill with what appears to be mirth. His lip quirks. "You are probably right." Tormad holds his hand out and glances down to see my necklace wrapped around his fingers.

"You have gotten faster on your feet," he quips. "You need to learn to stop when I tell you to. Or we would run for days."

I take the necklace from him and squeeze it tight in my palm. Never letting it go again. My body goes rigid when I hear heavy steps come up from behind.

"It's just Igor," Tormad assures me that no harm is to come to me. He pleases a soft touch to my shoulder and brings me in close. To further his point. I stare at Igor, trying hard to not judge him for his looks. I think he senses my judgment as his eyes flick from Tormad down to me.

This is Igor, the man I have been training with for months. We have a bond. I saved his boys. But when I stare into his eyes, I only see the monster who... I can't even think further. I brace my arm over my stomach to contain the bile that wants to retch and burn my throat.

"I am not my father," Igor confirms. "I am a monster, but I would never force myself on a woman." The corner of his lip lifts. "I don't need to. They come willing. It is me who has to say no."

"How many have we lost?" Tormad cuts in. Igor glances up from me to him.

"Not too many, but we have a few missing." Igor lowers his eyes down to my level.

"I'm sorry, Catherine." My heart stops when Igor calls me by my birth name. I had gotten used to being called Kari. "It appears Helga was working with Freya. I can't locate the two, and a few others."

I shake my head. "No, Helga wouldn't betray Tormad." She despised Freya. "I don't believe you."

Tormad wraps his arm around my side to console me. "Kari is right," Tormad tells his brother. "Helga wouldn't betray me."

My only loyal friend is missing. I suspect Freya has taken her, but I don't know why. I know Helga was afraid to stand up to her. Helga was strong in her own right, but she was a shield-maiden. Freya was a warrior.

"We must find her," I demand. I don't care how we do it, but I won't let her die because of some stupid feud Freya has with me over Tormad.