Clinging To Hope (Jack Barakat)

Chapter Two

It had been a month since we planned the Storm Tour. I wasn't ready for it. I had just finished packing, so physically, I was prepared. Mentally, emotionally, and socially, I was not ready. I had finally sat down on the floor in front of my bed when my mom walked into my bedroom. 

My bedroom was sort of large, my bed against the wall, a desk on the other, a large chest of drawers beside the door to my bathroom, then a dresser and TV on the wall by the door. There were a few guitars in my room: an acoustic, an electric, and a bass. The walls were black and red, alternating colors by the walls, each with accents of the other color on the walls. 

"You're bringing that?!" She asked referring to the t-shirt on top. I nodded. 

I wish I could say that I normally lived on my own. My mom had been staying with me in my New York apartment to watch me for a bit. In turn, I watched her as well. Just as I lost my brother and best friend, she did lose her son. My mother had never been like a normal mother. She supported me, however, she refused to let me be myself- to chose who I wanted to be. She wanted the perfection of me in a white dress playing the piano. I was gifted in music, but she pushed me to the point of wanting to quit quite often. The constant nagging never really stopped with her.

"So Missy is singing?" She asked sharply. If there was one person who was most disappointed in me refusing to sing out of everybody else who was: it was my mother. The woman who first taught me to sing. Now, I was letting her down even more than I already had. I nodded again, not wanting to talk and be bothered.

Missy promised to stay. We also had gotten Maddie, our rhythm guitarist. Maddie had been a high school friend.  She had always doubted everything about herself. She had finally grown into her confidence and agreed to join us. I zipped up my suitcases and put it near the front door. I glanced at my black iPhone. I still had a while until my flight to California at nine. Out of boredom and knowing it would be the last long shower I would be able to take for a couple months, I went upstairs and got in the shower. 

I basked in the heat the water brought. I sighed when the warm water ran down my cold body. I was always cold, even in the middle of summer. I wanted to sing like I use to right before a tour to get my voice ready, but there would be no singing on this tour. Or the next. Or the next. 

The silence of the room was deafening without my voice to fill it. I almost started to hum. Almost, but my memories stopped me. I knew I would never the same again.

I groaned and shut off the water. I couldn't enjoy myself with all the thoughts stirring through my head. I grabbed a towel and sent to go get dressed. When I entered my room, I saw I had a forgotten something.

I picked up the small ring of metal off my dresser, the metal shined in the artificial light of my bedroom. Jason's ring. It was one of the few things I had left of him. He always wore the ring he had gotten after he finished college with a degree in business and degree Music Theory. He had always wanted to be a record producer. He had the means to do so. He had a promising future. He didn't get it, though. His fate was sealed. 

I slammed the ring down on my dresser. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back. Just as his fate was, my fate was sealed all the same. Except he didn't want to die.  I did. Without him, I was the same scared little girl I always had been. And I was doomed to be the same girl forever. 

At four AM, Silent Sound and As It Is finally got off the plane. We had been flying all night and I was ready to pass out. Meeting up with the boys had been mumbles of hellos before getting back on the plane. I leaned against Ben as we walked to the baggage claim in LA.

"Benny! Carry me!" I demanded. He chuckled, dragging me with him.

"Jules, I think I'm already carrying you." He complained, adjusting his grip on my waist.

"Girl! Don't go there!" I sassed back, sleepily attempting to snap. He laughed and handed me off to Patty, who I immediately cuddled up to. We all stood to wait for our bags in silence. Maddie's came first.

"I'm getting Starbucks. Y'all peasants can get your own!" She said, turning to walk off.

"Then get me a Rockstar!" I called. She flipped me off and continued to sashay off to get coffee. After we all got our bags, I texted Alex. 'Yo, get your sexy ass over here! We're near Gate 17.'

"Calm it, Sassy!" I heard a familiar voice call. Alex jogged toward our group, Maddie walking behind him with her beloved coffee in hand. "Buses are out front," he reported.

We all cheered and walked out. I sighed when Patty let go of me, his body warmth no longer keeping me warm. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Don't worry. You'll be in your bunk passed out or in someone else's, knowing you." He teased with a knowing wink. It was common knowledge how clingy I am. I nodded. He smiled and walked on the bus he shared with his band. I got on Silent Sound's bus and put my stuff away. Missy walked back to where I was.

"So I'm the lead singer now?" She asked. I nodded before looking for some form of caffeine. I groaned and closed the unstocked fridge before sitting down on the couch. Missy sat next to me. "Want to watch ID Channel?" She asked, knowing how much I loved it. It wasn't as scary as a horror movie, but it did, however, giving you a rush of fear and peak your interest.

"Yes please," I said, wrapping a blanket around me.

"How about some Spit to play while we watch?" She suggested with a smirk on her face.

"You and your hustling." I sighed. I got up and grabbed the cards before sliding in the booth all the same. She grinned and slid into the other side. She took the cards from me and dealt them quickly.

Three never-ending rounds later, I put my cards down.

"I'm done, Miss. I'm going to bed." I said. She laughed triumphantly.

"I have defeated The Silent!" She declared. I picked up the cards and put them back in the box before making my bunk in my usual spot on the middle row and curling up. I yawned deeply, already worrying about the day ahead of us. It was all so calm in the early hours. I just had to make it through the rest of the day.

I woke to my phone ringing. I saw it was only Alex, so I let it go to voicemail. I sighed, seeing it was ten. I sat up, being thankful I was short enough to sit up. I swung my legs off the bunk. The crew member underneath me had already gotten up and shut their curtain. I shrugged and walked out to the kitchen area.

"Hey, Juliet." Abby greeted me as I walked out. She was sitting on the couch in her denim skirt and black and white striped t-shirt, her long blonde hair pulled up in a complicated bun. I gave her a small three-fingered salute and went to the cabinets in search of my precious Fruit Loops. "Get ready. Soundcheck in an hour." I sighed over dramatically.

"I'ma go, Mama." I joked. I went back to the bunks and got down on the level of the junk bunks. I found my favorite acid washed skinny with rips littering them, a galaxy JAGK shirt, and my purple and black swirled Vans. I changed before brushing my hair and teeth. I walked back out to Abby. I got into the fridge and grabbed a Rockstar from the fridge drawer where we kept the energy drinks and beer. "Leggo!" I yelled at my best friend. We got our passes and other things before leaving the bus to go on with our day.

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A/N: Special last day of summer update. Yes, tomorrow I go back to school... I'm sad. Well, the show must go on...

     Stay Sassy,
                      The Rutabaga

A/N: Ah, to be in the eighth grade again. I didn't have chemistry back then. I had a rambling madman as a teacher, and I loved him.