Make Me Better | Leah Williamson

Spill the beans & firsts

Leah made her way to Finley's room in record time, but that might have something to do with her jogging as soon as she was out of the canteen. Once outside the room she took a few deep breaths, one to catch her breath and two to calm her nerves. She's not even sure Finley would want to speak to her after she had done anything she possibly could to ignore the medic for the past few days.

After psyching herself up she brought her fists up to the door land knocked lightly, gasping when Finley answered the door after just a few seconds. "That was quick." She muttered.

"Yeah, I heard you out here like five minutes ago, kinda wanted to see how long you'd stand out here."

Leah already wanted to shrivel up into a ball, but instead she decided to woman up and look Finley in the eye. "Can I co-" Leah didn't finish her sentence, instead her eyes widening when she noticed the small dried out cut cut and bruising at the top of Finley's forehead. "What the fuck?" She asked as she couldn't stop herself reaching forward and softly rubbing the pad of her fingers against the bruise. "Lucy said some dick kicked your board from under you?"

Finley nodded as she tried not to close her eyes at the feeling of Leah's skin on hers, a feeling she's missed the past few days. "Yeah...can you come in so I can shut the door, the light out here is hurting my head."

Leah put lowered her hands and placed them on Finley's stomach stoftly and pushed her back through the door so she could quickly step inside the room and gently close the door behind her. Finley had most of the lights off in the room besides one bedside lamp which had a dark t shirt thrown over it to dim the light even more. Leah wasn't sure if it was the calming glow in the room or if it was just Finley's presence that made her feel at ease.

Leah reached her hand out wordlessly for Finley to grab, smiling slightly when Fin took hold of her hand with no questions, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Leah walked over to the single bed which was obviously the one Fin had been laying in, tugging the girl to walk behind her, holding her hand behind her back as she pulls her with her. When the pair reached the bed, Leah put her hands on Finley's shoulders and pushed softly. "Sit." She said.

Finley followed orders and sat down, her breath hitching when Leah took a step so she was now standing in between her legs. Leah was so close that Fin could smell the unmistakable smell of coffee on her breath as the shorter girl looked worryingly at Fin's head. "Does it hurt?"

"Well it doesn't tickle."

Both girls let out a small laugh.

"What's going on, Leah?" Finley asked after a few moments, not really wanting to just excuse the girls hot and cold behavior.

Leah let out a shaky breath before stepping back and sitting on the edge of the spare single bed. "So...I know I owe you an apology...so, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how I acted. I just...I got scared and I freaked myself out."

Finley watched Leah closely. "Scared of what?"

The blonde took another deep breath and began fidgeting with her own fingers. "Scared of, Uhh, scared of my feelings for you, I guess. Scared of those feelings hurting other people."

Finley said nothing. Firstly because she didn't quite know how to respond but mostly because she feels like Leah needs to take the lead with this.

"I just...when we first met, I knew I felt a connection with you. Like, I wanted to be around you all the time, touching you all the, I craved your attention. But my ex-Jordan, she was in the back of my mind- wait, no, not because there's feelings there, there's not. But I got worried I was rubbing it in her face and I suspected she still had feelings for me."

Finley nodded. "So what changed?"

"I spoke to Jordan, I explained that we're not getting back together, she asked that I didn't do anything in front of her-"

"Wait wait wait," Finley interrupted. "You're not about to tell me that you stopped talking to me because...your ex asked you to? What, I'm the second choice? You're allowed to talk to me when she says?" Finley didn't mean to come across with an attitude, but she's been messed around by Leah, and she's not going to just let it fly under the radar.

"Wait, no. Just let me finish, please?" Leah asked with pleading eyes. Finley nodded. "Even though I knew I had some type of feelings for you...by her seeing it and being aware of it, I kind of felt a guilt towards her. Because I was moving on after I was the one who broke us up because I fell out of love. Even when we were together, we Sorta weren't...like we rarely talked, we barely seen each other, we were just convenient. But then we broke up...and I realised that I wasn't sad about it...and I knew it was the right decision. But I told her she's had no problem moving on in front of me, which is fine, it doesn't bother me. And she can't chose where and when I move on. I think because I hadn't really expressed an interest in anyone since we broke up, she sorta thought we would get back together, but that was never ever going to be the case. And then you came along and I got these feelings. Then the more time we spent together, i think it became obvious for everyone who knows me that it wasn't just a crush, it was a crush on someone I wanted to be with."

Finley wasn't fully sure what to say. She fully understands what Leah is saying, but if just the thought of of her ex potentially seeing them together held enough power to freak her out enough where she got ignored for days on end, is she even ready to think about being with a girl.

"Ok...uhm, and what do you feel now?"

Leah smiled softly. "Now I feel like I wanna see things go with us. I wanna go back to how we were before I potentially messed things up. I've not...I've not been with many people, me and Jordan were together from quite young. My feelings are something that I don't fully understand I guess, and I don't know how well it's going to go down, but I don't really think I care. What I do know, is that I don't wanna be away from you for anymore, I want you to be the first one I speak to in the morning and the last one of a night, I wanna spend as much time as I can with you, I wanna touch you...I wanna...I wanna kiss you." Leah finished, mentally giving herself a Pat on the back for being brave and saying exactly that was on her mind.

Finley sat there in silence whilst she stared at the floor trying to process her thoughts, her thinking interrupted when she heard soft footsteps walking towards her till she seen Leah's legs come into her view as the footballer once again stood in between Finley's legs.

Finley felt Leah's soft hands place themselves either side of her jaw as she tilted Finley's head up so she was looking at her. "I'm going to kiss you now." Leah stated.

The pairs eye contact didn't waver as Leah started to bend down.

"Guys, Saturday's game has been moved to Tuesday! So we're gonna have some team bonding in Lessy and Toone's room because we're gonna have to fly out earlier than planned. five minutes!" The pair were interrupted by a bellowing voice coming through the door causing both girl to freeze and squeeze their eyes shut.

Leah stayed silent, the only noise between them was now their even breathing.

"You probably shouldn't keep them waiting...I'll probably get the blame." Finley said with an awkward laugh.

Leah frowned. "You're coming too, you know? The girls love you! You're completely part of this team, Fin." Leah took a step back and stuck her hand out for Finley to grab again. "C'mon." Finley smiled and again grabbed the outstretched hand. "Beth better keep her germs in her own god damn room, I'm not getting ill...then you definitely won't kiss me."