Candlelight | A Breath of the Wild / Tears of the Kingdom ZeLink Modern AU

Chapter 4 : Pain and recovery

I woke up early in the morning, as I hadn't really fallen asleep after what happened a few hours ago.

I'd been on the alert after he fell asleep again, fearing that he could've been in pain again. So, everytime he made a movement, everytime I heard his breath becoming heavier, everytime I heard his heart rate increasing, I woke up.

I wanted to make sure his withdrawal syndrom didn't come back – as if it was something that could come and go – because, I had to admit, it scared me a lot. Seeing him in pain and throwing up, hearing his groans, feeling his nervosity about what was happening to him, enduring his sudden mood change scared me. And of course, I wasn't scared of him. I was scared for him.

During the few times I was sleeping, I kept seeing the awful view of him struggling with his anger, fear and pain, or I kept asking myself what were the symptoms of withdrawal syndrome. So, after an internal battle for too many minutes – or hours – I finally took my phone and opened Google, searching what was the disease he was undergoing.

So, the DSM-5 – or the great reference frame of mental illness, even though I hated considering him as mentally ill – told me that the physical symptoms of this were : dilated pupils, sweating, mood change, shaky hands, fast heart rate and respiratory rate, hyperalgesia, watery eyes, but also nausea. So, even if he was suffering of these new symptoms, he was also feeling the pain he was undergoing upgraded.

My poor lover...

But, as he said, he wasn't mentally dependent of morphine, as the symptoms of that side of addiction were mostly the craving depite the negative consequences, anxiety and sleeping disorder.

And seeing how you try to avoid your medication and how you're sleeping well, I can tell you're not mentally addict.

I had a look at his beautiful face, now relaxed and at ease. His eyes were closed, moving behind his eyelids sometimes as he was dreaming, his long blond hair clean and wet were circling his face.

You look like an angel.

I let my hand run in his soft hair, making him frown a bit. But, the sensation of his arm aound me, holding me slightly tighter than before, was worth everything.

« I have to go, you know ? », I whispered.

And he growled a bit, tightening his grip even if that was unconsciously.

« Link... », I chuckled. « I would love staying in bed with you, but I have to go back to college. »

I softly kissed his cheeks, and caught him smiling.

I think my heart is about to stop. How is it possible to be that adorable ?

I discreetly got out of bed, trying my best to make sure I won't disturb his sleep – knowing how important it was for his recovery. So, I slip off the sheets, and gently put them on him again, before I tenderly kissed his forehead and had a last look at him.

« I love you. », I said, as soon as I leaned back.

I don't think someone every loved another soul as much as I do.

« I love you. », he whispered in his sleep.

My heart stopped. And it melted at the same time.

Was that how he felt when said my first 'I love you' ? When I was sleeping while he was going out to work out. When I was unconscious and my sick brain was on pause, allowing my heart to finally speak. When I could be the one I've always been, and not the one I had to pretend.