the permanent escape

chapter five ~ eden

"I can only do so much."

I don't even know at this point if the way I'm feeling is realistic, or if there's a legitimate reason for Blake to be upset with me. Because he clearly is. I don't understand what I did wrong.

"Please, I'm sor–"

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't interrupt me. I'm trying to help you and I don't think I'm asking anything unreasonable of you. I need you to be as calm and relaxed as possible so that I can work. Now, we're gonna get through the rest of this with no drama, and you are going to stop resisting. Do I make myself clear?" he asks sternly.

"Why–why are you mad at me?" I ask.

He sighs. "Eden, I'm not mad at you," he says, "I know I'm coming across as more demanding than I was earlier, but with the severity of the situation, we need to act quickly. You don't want to go to the hospital, but if you keep backtracking I'm not going to have a choice but to take you. Once again, do I make myself clear?"

I nod. I don't think there's anything I can say in response to that.

"Ok, good," he replies. 

He backs away from me and I watch as he pulls some tissues out of the kit.

"Here, dry your eyes and compose yourself. Take a minute to get into a better headspace. Once you're ready, we have to get this done," he says as he hands me the tissues. 

I take them from him and wipe the tears off my face. This is one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me.

After a few minutes, I speak up. 

"I–I think I'm ready," I say.

"Are you ready enough to be able to sit calmly for... I don't know... around 15 minutes so that this can be completely done with?" he asks.

"I think so. I'll do my best," I say.

He nods slowly and reaches for the bottle. I watch as he opens it and soaks another gauze pad with it. 

"I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt," he says, "Now try not to move too much, we need to be done with this."

He starts dabbing the gauze pad over the cut on my face, and I immediately feel myself wanting to react. It burns so much. I close my eyes tightly and I feel my entire face get tense as I resist the urge to pull away. I bite my lip to stop all cries or otherwise loud noises from leaving my body. I don't need him getting upset again.

While this is going on, Blake starts talking to me.

"You're tensing up again, like you did in the car earlier," he says. 

I open my eyes and glare at him. "It really burns, like a lot." I tell him.

"I know it burns. It's going to burn, it's 98% alcohol," he says.

He briefly stops what he's doing and looks down at my hands; they're balled up into fists.

He starts tapping my wrist with his pointer finger. "Unclench your fists. That certainly isn't going to help you," he says. 

I nod and do as I'm told.

He continues dabbing the gauze on my face. I reach a point where I accidentally yell out in pain. 

"I'm almost finished with this part. Don't cry," he says.

"It really hurts," I say.

"I know," he says as he pops a big bandaid on my forehead, "Now turn your head to the side for me." 

I turn my head; once I do, he makes a humming sound.

"What is it?" I ask.

"These nail marks are really bad," he says.