As an introverted, shy person, I've never liked beginnings. Some might find that the start of something new is exciting, but I never thought so. Especially, if it's something that requires me to get to know bunch of people and spend time with them.
I always try to avoid getting out of my comfort zone in my daily life. Sometimes, it cannot be helped.
Like today...
It's my first day of the job at this pharmaceutical company. I'm going to be working as a sales respresentative.
I know, right?
If I'm so shy and introverted, how am I going to sell bunch of medicines to the doctors, who generally have no time for themselves let alone for some sales pitch.
But I am good at my job.
Sometimes I believe, if I were choose another profession, I might have become a completely socially isolated person. Call it an 'exposure theraphy' but trying to make sales pushed me to be a little more (actually, a lot) social.
I used to have a severe anxiety. It was preventing me from doing various things; such as calling a person for a conflict, confronting a friend who hurt me, or even telling the waiter that my order is wrong.
Over the time, it got better. When I was studying at college, I overcame the fear of speaking in front of a crowd. Because I had to... If I wanted to get a college degree, I needed to pass my classes, which requires lots of presentation, and I needed to present my thesis as well.
At the end, I realized that about myself. If I really have to do something, I can do it. Of course, I got some help medically and mentally too.
As they say;
Are you scared to do it?
Do it scared.
I didn't exactly understand how my brain works but I decided to use this characteristic of mine to my advantage.
That's how I got into sales.
I knew a lot about medicines because I was always following the news of the medicine world. Plus, I had a degree in biology. You might think with a degree in one of the life sciences, I could get into academics and be more comfortable. You'd be right about that. :)
I needed a job though. I needed to be comfortable on my own, without the financial help of my family. It's not because we have a major feud going on, it's just... when they're involved financially, they are involved in everything. I wanted to be independent. Free.
Free of that small town that my family lives. Free of that small people around them. Free of that small life they are living on.
I wanted more. I needed to get out of there.
And then...
Here I was.
I got into this huge plaza almost two hours early from my starting hour, because I was too nervous.
I've been working in this field for three years now. My nervousness caused by the social aspect of the job. Not because of lack of experience. By social aspect, I mean the people I have to get to know: My co-workers, my manager, other managers, secretary on our floor, secretary of the building, the guy who prepares my coffee in the coffee shop, the man cleaning the trays in the coffee shop...
What?
No?
I'm not an overthinker.
But yes.
I am a people pleaser and the thought of that even one person is going to find me irritable in this company, makes my brain itch.
It is so easy to be me!
