10 | i want this baby.

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"Babies are made with love

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"Babies are made with love. Whether that love is present now or was in the past, it existed." — Mark Star.

MARK • STAR

         The room's energy shifted, a tangible transformation as the weight of her words settled in

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The room's energy shifted, a tangible transformation as the weight of her words settled in. Numbness enveloped my entire body, contrasting the rare excitement that had filled me at the prospect of impending fatherhood, a chance to break the cycle of absent paternity. Her declaration of not wanting the baby shattered my heart, breaking it in a way I had never experienced.

"You—We aren't prepared to be parents, Mark. You're on the verge of a career comeback, and I'm on the brink of success. I can't afford a hiatus for nine months, let alone more time to raise a child," she explained. Despite her reasoning, her words seemed to pass through me as I grappled with a difficult dilemma. Career concerns faded; in that moment, all I wanted was our child—a shared beginning.

"It's our kid. So the decision is mine too, right?" I pleaded.

She shook her head. "Don't do that. This is my body. If I don't want this baby, I don't have to include you. I didn't even have to tell you I was pregnant, but it was the right thing to do."

"So even if I said I want this baby, you're gonna abort it anyway? What type of fucked-up shit is that?" Frustration surged as I recalled the joy and excitement that the news of her pregnancy had brought, prompting me to seek help from the one man I despised. Our baby became my redemption, rescuing me from my own struggles. It might sound foolish, but it's the unvarnished truth. "Mark..." she trailed off with a heavy sigh.

I ran my hand down my face. "I want this baby. I want our baby, Soul."

Her finger tapped rhythmically on the dining room table, a sign of the complexity ahead. Shifting her position to face me, she sighed, her concern etched on her features. "I have a tour in two months. How can I hide a child from the world for that long? I have shows lined up; I can't risk missing them or losing money because of sickness. You don't grasp the impact of pregnancy and parenting on our careers. When you were acting, I wouldn't see you for months. Managing both a career and a child— we're young, it's not that simple." I grasped her hand, determined. "I'll make it work, do whatever it takes. I can schedule breaks during filming to fly back home. I want this baby."

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