IF THIS GETS OUT

Micheal.. ?(CONTINUING ON DAMIEN)

2 MONTHS BEFORE -->

I sat in my room as I felt the urge to start crying.

Micheal was my little brother.  He became transgender at the age of fifteen. My mom wanted him to think about all that he wanted. The drugs, and surgeries. All he wanted was to ba male. It had been eating him alive. My mother decided to go through with all of this. The drugs where fine. The chest and waist surgery was okay. But after he got his bottom surgery he fell ill.

¨Mother?¨ Micheal asked.

¨Yes Sweetheart?¨ She replied as she looked away from me to him.

¨Can you please help me get up? I am done here at the hospital. All they ever do is bandage me and push me around.¨ Micheal asked.

¨You wanted this Ava.¨ She announced.

¨Deal with it.¨ My other continued.

¨Mom can I talk to you privately?¨ I asked gesturing her over as Micheal burst into tears.

¨MICHEAL IS A MALE. A MALE. HIS NAME IS MICHEAL. NOT AVA. LEAVE NOW.¨ I screamed at her.

¨I am sorry. I am just stressed. It's a lot to process son.¨ She teared up.

¨ Whether it was an accident or not, look at your kid. He is heartbroken.¨ I pointed at him.

¨Micheal, I am sorry.¨ My mother apologized as she left the room.

I looked over at Micheal who was passed out.

¨Good night.¨ I smiled.

Before I left the room the heart monitor stopped beeping. Horror rushed over me.

¨HELP! HELP NOW!¨ I screamed as loud as I could.

¨SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!¨ I continued.

Doctors, nurses, and surgeons came rushing into the room one by one. They hooked machines up to Micheal and they tried to electrocute his heart to bring him back.

¨150.¨ Off went the first shock.

¨200.¨ Off for the second.

¨250.¨ Off went the third.

I had no hope anymore. My body heated up as I began to breakdown.

¨250..?¨ They asked. Off went the fourth.

I was carried out as I balled my eyes out. My mother stood there confused.

¨Ma'am? Is this your son?¨ A nurse asked.

¨Yes? Why?¨ She replied.

¨Why is he crying?¨ My mother asked.

¨Micheal.¨ The nurse sighed.

¨We have some bad news.¨ A nurse chimed in.

¨That is?¨ My mother sounded concerned.

¨What happened to Micheal?!¨ She started tearing up.

¨Is he okay?¨ She continued with her thousands of questions before they stopped her.

¨Micheal has passed away. We tried the shock up to 250 but nothing worked. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.¨ A nurse apologized.

I stood there still. I was in shock now. My fucking brother just died in front of me. My last words were ¨Good night.¨ WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GOODBYE FOREVER IS THAT!

Tears rolled down my face as I collapsed to the floor. My mother hugged me tightly as I started breaking down again.

BACK TO NOW -->

I wanted to cry. Ever since Micheal died my mother has not been the same. I am two people to her. I hate seeing her like this, but all I can do is sit and watch my mother became insane.

¨Micheal. I am so FUCKING sorry my last words to you before you died was ¨Good night¨ I could've done better if I knew you weren't asleep. I wish I could do something to make it up to you. But you're gone and there is nothing I can do.¨ I started crying.

¨I'm the worst brother ever..¨ I said to my self between sobs.

I started wondering how Micheal died until I realized.

Micheal was loosing hair. The surgeries. The drug-ish look on his face. Skinny body.

¨Oh. My. FUCKING. GOD.¨ I ran downstairs to my mother who was on the couch watching Crime Shows.

¨Mom. I know how Micheal died.¨ I said hesitantly.

¨What? How?¨ She asked.

¨He had cancer and didn't wanna tell us. It was also triggered more when they did the surgeries. He must have taken the drug for a different effect to make us think he wouldn't have cancer.¨ I said shocked.

¨But why would he keep something like that from me? He knew I could help him.¨ She asked.

¨I know Mom. But listen. I don't think he or she was transgender. I think they just didn't want us to realize and the pressure you know. Got to them?¨ I sighed.

¨Then why did he cry when I said ¨Ava¨ their so-called ¨Dead name¨ She asked.

¨Good question. Okay, maybe that part is wrong then. Or it was for show. It seemed real though.¨ I sighed.

¨I know you miss him, Damien. But we have to move on.¨ My mom caressed my cheek.

¨The thing is mom. I don't wanna forget my brother in months. It will take years. I need a therapist or something.¨ I asked.

¨I can call tomorrow to see if they are open to anyone else. I am pretty sure there is like no room left for anyone else on Queenston.¨ She replied.

¨Oh? Well. We can still see.¨ I offered.

¨Of course, dear.¨ She smiled.

¨Thank you, Mom.¨ I smiled back.

¨No problem.¨ She replied.