IF THIS GETS OUT

Communication. (Damien)

After school, I met up with Maxx who had been near the gates with Kai. Me and Kai never really talked much but we were familiar with one another.

¨Yo, Kai. What's good?¨ I asked dabbing him up.

¨Not much. Currently waiting on my meds.¨ He smiled.

He was currently still feminine-looking. He was getting surgeries soon.

¨Wait. What? What meds?¨ Maxx asked.

¨Testosterone.¨ He replied pulling his phone out.

¨And that is?¨ I asked.

¨Makes me more masculine. Hair, Voice, facial shape, and hormones.¨ Kai replied.

¨Alright. Sick, congratulations dude.¨ I patted his shoulder.

Maxx looked a bit jealous at the whole physical touch thing. I nodded at Maxx hoping he would understand I was just congratulating Kai.

¨Ahem. Kai?¨ I asked.

¨Yes?¨ He turned to me.

I heated up as I felt the need to tell him I didn't wanna lose him like I did my brother-to-bottom surgery. I hesitated before finally opening up.

¨I don't think bottom surgery is best for you.¨ I sighed.

¨Why? You don't fucking support me?¨ He asked.

¨N-¨ I went to talk.

¨Go fucking kill yourself man.¨ He teared up.

¨Look, Kai.¨ I went to talk once more.

¨Not the best idea right now.¨ Maxx said.

¨I LOST MY FUCKING BROTHER TO IT.¨ I spoke out.

Kai stopped crying and just stared at me. Maxx looked horrified as he moved back.

¨I. Didn't know. I am sorry.¨ Kai sighed.

¨Yeah.¨ I looked down.

¨Look, man. I am truly sorry.¨ Kai reassured me.

¨I have been told to kill myself enough times to not give a fuck.¨ I rolled my eyes.

¨We are sorry.¨ Maxx chimed in.

¨Give him a chance.¨ He continued.

I looked disgusted.

¨You wanna fucking tell me to kill myself?¨ I asked.

¨I AM SORRY!¨ Kai cried.

¨Fuck yourself.¨ I scoffed.

I walked away leaving the conversation behind, Maxx trailed behind me. I clenched my fist as the thought of my sister dying, the machines, my mother crying, and me falling to the floor before fainting came to mind.

¨WILL SOMEONE EVER LET ME TALK ABOUT MY FUCKING PROBLEMS?¨ I asked.

I never turned to Maxx I just stayed staring at the ground.

¨You can talk to me?¨ Maxx sighed.

¨No. I can't. Cause you talk to me.¨ I said.

¨I know? But it goes both ways? Right?¨ He asked.

¨It could've.¨ I looked at him.

¨It would've.¨ I continued before running off.

¨DAMIEN. WAIT, PLEASE!¨ Maxx called behind me as he chased me down the street.

I went inside and ran to my room, locking it behind me. I heard Maxx just come in.

¨Do you know where Damien is?¨ He asked.

¨Upstairs in his room.¨ my mom replied.

¨Thank you!¨ He pleaded.

His footsteps grew louder as he ran up the stairs. He tried the door but it was locked.

¨Yes?¨ I asked.

¨Damien. Let me in, please. I wanna talk to you.¨ He begged.

¨Why.¨ I asked.

¨Because? This relationship will only work if we talk through this. Plus I have something to show you.¨ He announced.

I got up and opened the door to see Maxx crying. I hugged him tightly and let him cry in my arms.

¨I love you.¨ He announced.

¨Not as much as I love you.¨ I replied.

¨More.¨ He smiled.

I wiped his tears and kissed him before shutting the door to my room so my mother didn't suspect anything.

¨Are you okay?¨ He asked.

¨Am I? No. What we should be asking is: Are you okay?¨ I corrected him.

¨I am fine.¨ He smiled, and a tear fell down his cheek.

¨You're not.¨ I sighed.

I picked him up and laid him down on my bed as I squished myself between him and the wall.

¨I am, I promise you.¨ He smiled.

¨Come here.¨ I held him close hoping he would tell me what is wrong.

¨Fine.¨ He sighed.

¨I feel like I ruined your life being in it.¨ He tucked his head into my chest and cried as he wrapped his arms and legs around me.

I held him closely as I quietly sobbed.

¨Love.¨ I lifted his chin so he could see me. The tears were visible on both of our faces.

He looked at me surprised to see me crying. My black emo-ish makeup had smeared down my face.

¨You made it better if anything. I can not live without you.¨ I managed to say through tears and hiccups. 

¨Really?¨ His eyes lit up.

¨I always lie about my feelings to people. But never have I to you. So what do you think?¨ I asked.

He smiled and kissed me.

¨No words can describe how much I love you Maxx.¨ I smiled.