Another Awakening {Diabolik Lovers}

Chapter 19

The number '4' was floating around my head like a pathetic reminder that I'm getting weaker. The number '4' is burned onto the inside of my wrist. 4 more days till I'm dead. I know it is going to happen and I tried to prepare myself for it but thinking of it...It makes my stomach sick.

Oh my god. The sound of my footsteps were heavy as I rushed into the toilet and bended over the toilet bowl. My shoulders were shaking and my stomach churned, and the taste of vomit in my mouth. I straightened myself up, thinking there was nothing left in my stomach but I was once again bending forward.

The smell of vomit made my stomach churn again and the nauseous feeling came back but there was nothing left in my stomach to empty into the toilet bowl. My fingers slammed against a button, flushing the toilet.

My left hand searched for the sink which was at the left. The tips of my fingers gripped the marble top and I forced whatever strength I have left to bring myself to the sink. My whole body started trembling when I saw what was in the mirror.

My cheeks seemed to have sunken in a little and my lips were cracked. I licked my lips and the pain was there. My eye bags seemed to have darken and my eyes looked tired.

"Would you look at that..." I spit into the sink and proceeded to brush my teeth.

'The effects wouldn't be that bad' – Yes, that's what I told myself like 3 days ago. And in 3 days, my health can deplete this much. I look like I haven't slept properly in mouths and my lips are cracking like how it does in the winter if I don't moisturize it properly. And heck, I look like someone punched me so hard, my cheeks concaved.

Throwing my tooth brush to the side, I patted my face down with water and tried my best not to wince when the water went in between the cracks of my lips. The pain reminded me that I look like shit.

I looked up and I made myself smile. The smile disappeared as soon as it appeared on my lips when I let out a scream. My hands seemed to push the marble top instinctively and my body fell back.

There was nothing in the mirror, no reflection. There was nothing, just the wall and bathtub behind me. There was no sign of me. Like how it would be when I'm dead.

4 days, how is it possible for me to make 3 brothers remember the past? Even the previous 3 that I have tried didn't remember a thing. They get sucked into the memory and they seemed to slowly remember it...but suddenly it's that same old 'pull' that returns us to reality and BAM, the look on their face was blank like they have been through nothing.

There is this suddenly urge to scream and I tried to but my throat closed up. All I heard was a whimper belonging to me and felt the big fat tears that rolled down my cheeks. The strength left my body and I curled into a fetal position on the floor.

At this rate, there are so many things I can never do.

I won't be able to see the smile that Shuu always kept between the both of us whenever I visited him while he studied. Or how I would never sneak behind him just to watch him play the violin. Or never being able to cuddle with him.

I won't be able to see the crease when Reiji frowns in concentration as he carefully brewed potions to perfection. Or the relived look on his face when he drinks a perfect brew of tea. I'll never be able to visit the tea place that I brought him too when I first arrived here.

I'll never be able to tolerate Laito's pervertic jokes anymore. Even though they annoy me and make me uncomfortable, there's something to it...Like how I'll be able to mentally stab him in my head. Or the fact. The worse one I'll regret the most is that I'll never be able to steal that goddamn fedora hat.

I won't be able to bake snacks with Kanato anymore. I won't be sitting next to him, going through recipe books after recipe books because he can't find what he wants to bake. Heck, I'll miss that stupid teddy bear too. And...and I'll never be able to see the dress he said he's making.

No more night visits to the night market because of Ayato having girl-like cravings. Or him forcing me to make takoyakis for him. No more of Ayato buying the food which I really really want to eat. As much as I hate seeing the smirk on his face, I wouldn't be able to see it if...

I wouldn't be able to see that peaceful look on Subaru's face when I told him that he was enough, he was beautiful in every single way when he was a child. Hey, that means I wouldn't be able to dance with him in the garden,huh? That was always a dream I wanted as a child, if I can remember it correctly.

"Kira-chan!" I heard Yui's voice and her gentle arms wrapping around my figure.

Yui...What is she going to do without me? Is she going to survive in this place alone? No more shopping trips and nights spent gossiping. No more of that if...

"Yui, I can't. I fucking can't. I'm so sorry." My words left and they didn't feel right. Nothing feels right.

Her gentle grasp was roughly pushed away and my body went into full panic mode and I started screaming, my arms hitting whatever pushed the gentleness away. However, the thing was stronger than I am and it restrained my arms and my legs were locked under a strong grip too.

"Stop moving,fuck." I heard him curse.

Through the blurry vision I had, I saw white hair and a cold metal key.

Once knowing who he is, I snuggled into his grip and gripped onto his torn white shirt.

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