My Reason To Live {Under Editing}

{2-2}

31 January  Saturday

It was now new years eve and I was at the beach with Lexa and Bluey. Dean had a match to play out of town. Mom gave birth to a baby boy.

I was sitting on the towel as Bluey ran around playing with the other dogs.

"You're so adorable." I cooed moving her arms up and down. She smiled.

"Awe." I heard someone. I looked up and so Lora from high school. "Lora?"
"Devon! Hiii." She squealed. "It's been a long time since I've seen you." She said. "I know." I said. "How have you been?" I asked. "I've been busy. Yknow with college and all that." She said. "You've been busy too." She said pointing at Lexa. "Where's her father?" She asked. "He's out of town he has a match to play." I told. "A match?"
"Dean is a professional football player." I said. "You're and Dean are together?!" She asked in shock. "Yeah and we're engaged." I said showing her my ring.

"O M G I'm so happy for you!" She squealed and I smiled. "Oh I have to tell you something exciting." She said. "What is it?" I asked. "Sean and I are dating." She said smiling widely. "No freaking way." I deadpan. "What are you not happy?" She asked as her smile fell. "Awe no no it's not that. I'm really happy for you. You finally got the guy you've in love with." I said.

Bluey ran over to me and he looked tired. I took out his bowl and poured water in it. He drank it like he has never tasted water in his life.

"It was fun catching up with but I really have to go now. I hope we see each other again." She said. I smiled and waved at her as she.

She left and I stared at the beach.

Kids my age were drinking and enjoying their lives while I'm hear with my baby while I'm still a baby.

I'm not saying I regret having Lexa, because I don't. I love this baby more then myself. I'm glad I met Dean, even though broke my heart like a million times. I love him and our family. I can't wait to marry him.

I opened my phone and saw an article on twitter about Dean.

Famous football star, Dean Hudson found with a girl at Starbucks. How will his fiancé feel about this?

No fucking way! Who's this bitch and what is he doing with my man. I felt my heart drop when I saw a picture of her. She's beautiful, lean long legs, beautiful blonde hair, perfect body and a perfect smile. How will I ever compete with that.

Yeah I am blonde but I'm not that type of blonde.

"Fuck this shit." I sighed. I put Lexa in her booster seat and packed our stuff. I called Bluey over and put his leash on him. I grabbed the bag and Lexa.

I got to the car and drove back to my apartment. I got in sat on the couch. I placed Lexa on her play mat for tummy time.

My phone was blowing up with texts from my friends. I tried to hold back my tears but I eventually exploded.

How could he! He told me he loved me now he's in Vegas with some chick

A beautiful chick.

I hate him.

I grabbed my pillow and cried into it I couldn't help but let out a muffled scream and Lexa started crying.

"Oh I'm sorry baby." I sobbed picking her up. I cradled her in my arms. I rocked her back and forth to try and calm her down. I grabbed her pacifier and gave it her. She calmed down and I placed her in her bassinet.

I got a call from Dean and I tried my best to not answer it but I failed. I grabbed the phone and answered it.

"What do you want?" I asked.
-"i know you read the article but please listen to me."-
"I'm listening."
-" the girl is Matts girlfriend."-
"Oh so you're fucking Matts girl."
-"what no! Matt is actually fucking other girls."
"Oh so you wanted to copy him"
-"no! Devon listen. I'm not fucking Matts girl friend."-
"Then what the hell are you doing Dean Hudson!"
-"Matt doesn't know that Pamela knows he's cheating. He thinks Pamela is just using her for fame but she really loves him. Pamela wants my help on exposing him but I told her I couldn't."-
"Oh. Well then what were you guys doing at Starbucks?"
-"I wanted to cheer her up. You do that with Joshua."-
"That's different, you know Josh and you know that we'd never do that to you. I don't know that Victoria secret model. I don't know her intentions with you."
-"dev I would never cheat on you. I can't believe you'd ever think that"-
"Oh you can't believe, you're no angel Dean."
-"I have to go. Coach needs us."- he said and dropped the phone.

I let out a sob as placed my phone next to me. Did I ruin my relationship?

Lexa spit out her pacifier and starts crying. I pulled down my top and breastfeed her.

I hate men

I should've been a lesbian.

I turned on a movie and watched it while I fed Lexa.

I couldn't focus on the movie because I was thinking about my argument with Dean. What if we break up? How will this affect Lexa.

I wiped the tears from my face as I looked at my daughter. She grabbed my finger and gripped on it tightly. I smiled at her and waved it around.

She finished drinking her and burped her. She puked on my shoulder and it ran down my back. "Ew Lexa." I said laughing. I grabbed a tissue and wiped her lips. I placed her on her bassinet.

I went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and wiped my back. I took of my top and just walked around the house in my bra.

I put Lexa to sleep and placed her on my bed. I laid down next her