My Reason To Live {Under Editing}

{0-4}

February 14 Thursday

It was six in the morning and I woke and did my morning routine. Wake up, violently throw up, brush my teeth, have breakfast and throw it up.

I sat on the kitchen Island eating pickles with ranch because it seems they are the only foods that don't make me throw up.

As I scrolled through my Instagram feed I saw a picture of Freya holding her stomach that was starting to show.

The caption said 'two months down seven more to go.'
Damn she's really pregnant.
I should probably go over to her place and check up on her. But she seems happy,well in the pictures she seems fine

My thoughts got cut off by Lindane and William Gage aka worst parents in the world.

They came downstairs smiling and giggling. Gross. I'm guessing they did the deed.

"Why are you guys happy?" I asked smirking while placing myphone on the table.
"I'm pregnant!" Mom squealed makings my smirk drop.

"You guys are kidding right?" I asked hoping it's just all a prank. "No we aren't. You don't seem to happy" Mom said frowning.

"Ofcourse I'm not happy. Your daughter died last year and you're already replacing her!" I yelled in anger.

"We're not replacing Melissa. We just missed having another baby in the house." Dad said.

"You mean you miss having me babysit for you guys while you're out 'travelling the world' when in reality you're just running away from your kids and responsibilities." I snapped at them.

"That's no way to talk to your parents like that!" Dad yelled

"Oh please. When were you guys ever my parents! Actually, when were you guys ever parents!" I yelled

"I'm the one that raised your kids. I'm the one who changed Ellie's shitty diapers! I was the one going to Wyatt's soccer game and cheered for him! I'm the one who was by Mellie's side when she got her period! I was there for them not you!" I yelled on the verge of breaking down crying

"And do you wanna know what you guys did?" I asked in a calmer voice walking towards them. "You drove us away. You! Are the reasons for what Melissa did to herself. You are the fucking reason she killed herself! You killed her and I'll forever hate you guys for that." I said sobbing.

Mom and dad just stood the speechless. "What's going on there?" I heard nanna asked. I turned around and saw her, Wy, El, Dev, Dyl and Chris standing on the staircase.

"Nothing." I said wiping my tears before running up the stairs pushing past everyone and went to my room. I shut the door and slid down it crying.

I'm not crying because I'm sad I'm crying because I'm angry. I'm angry that my little sister Melissa is dead, I'm angry because I couldn't save her now I can't let her go. I'm also angry at my parents for thinking it's okay to have another kid after what happened to their second born child. I doubt her death even effected them. I'm also mad at Wyatt and Elizabeth for being stupid, selfish and spoiled.

They don't know what I did for them. All they do is blame me for Mellie death. The only time they come to me is when they want something because they know I'm gonna give it to them.

I'm sick and tired of this family. I really want to move out but I can't. I can't leave my siblings. As much as I want to I can't.

I heard a knock on the door but ignored it. "Open the door please." I heard Chris and I sighed getting up and opened it revealing Chris, Dev and Dylan.

"Come in." I said wiping the tears away. "You okay." Chris asked as they walked in the room. "Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I asked fake smiling.

"It's just we saw the fight and it was naasstyyy." Del said dragging the word 'Nasty'

"Shut up." Chris said making his girlfriend roll her eyes.

"I'm fine. Its just- I'm being overly emotional lately for no reason. I also have been throwing up a lot, I have insomnia, fatigue, anxiety, cramps, and sometimes a dull pain on my abdomen. At first I thought it was my period coming but I just realized I haven't had it this month. Yeah I do spot but it's not my period." I explained then realized Chris is in the room.

"Sorry if period talk makes you uncomfortable." I apologized.
"Eh it's fine I don't really care. Del always vents to me about how she wants to reap her uterus out when she gets like real bad cramps and I always try to cheer her up even if she just kicks me out of her room." He explained.

"You got yourself a keeper." I said nudging my cousin. "Devie, when was the last time you had sex?" She asked and frowned. "Five weeks ago." I told her. "Why?"

"Because I think you're pregnant." She said and I burst out laughing. "Devie." She said giving me the pity look.

"No no no." I started. "I can't be pregnant. I'm going to college soon." I continued. "And I especially can't be pregnant with Dean's child."

"Dev you do know abortion is an option right?" She asked and I looked up to her with tears threatening to spill. "Is adoption an option. I can just carry the thing and give it to someone who really wants a child." I said. "I just can't- I can't be pregnant."

"If it makes you any better we don't really know for sure if you are pregnant." Chris said trying to be enthusiastic.

"Yep let's go to the drug store." He said picking up Dylan. "I first have to get dressed." I said.
"But what you're wearing is fine." Chris said.
"I'm in my pajamas." I told him.
"Oh I didn't realize. We'll meet you in the car." He said before they left the room.

I threw on my baggy jeans that had designs on them, a sleeveless cropped top, my hoodie and zipped it half down, I wore my black socks and my jordans.

I grabbed my phone and wallet before running out of the house to Chris's truck;