Shadow Queen (Gods & Dark Creatures Book 2)

Chapter 37

The celebrations continued, but Amaya and Ciaran decided to sneak out so they could be alone. Amaya thought about how to tell Ciaran, how to do the inevitable, but when he suddenly kissed her, she forgot everything. All she wanted was to feel his lips on hers.

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. He pressed her against the wall, a little roughly. He kissed her on the neck, on the shoulder, in the neckline of the dress. Amaya held her breath. Her heart was pounding. It literally screamed, I want more, I want more. She tore his shirt off. It revealed his toned chest. She claimed his lips. There was a certain urgency in her kisses. A longing for this moment to never end.

He lifted her up in his arms. She silently gasped at the sudden movement. The crown fell from Ciaran's head. It rang as it hit the ground. They laughed. Ciaran carried her to bed. His hand went under the skirt of her dress. He gently ran his palm up her calf up to her knee and even higher up her thigh. His grip tightened. He pulled her close to his body. He was kissing her. A soft moan of pleasure escaped Amaya's lips.

⸸

Amaya woke up with the dawn. The first rays of the day were creeping into the world from beyond the distant horizon. Ciaran hadn't noticed the symbols that adorned Amaya's back at all during the night. The symbols that told of her deal with the Shadow King. The rising sun told her that the time had come.

She thought about what to do and the best option came to her to leave Ciaran a letter. She couldn't say it to his face. She couldn't say the words out loud.

She followed Tristan into his chambers. She knocked on the door. A sleepy Tristan opened the door.

"Amaya?" he looked at her in surprise. "What are you doing here so early in the morning?"

"I need to talk to you before I run out of time," she replied. "It's serious."

Tristan saw the worry in her face. He let her in. She entered his chambers. She was restless. She was playing with the letter in her hands.

"What's going on?" Tristan wondered. "Are you alright?"

"I need you to give this to Ciaran," she handed him the letter.

"Why don't you give it to him yourself?" Tristan didn't understand.

"The day we occupied the palace, Ciaran was dying. I made a deal with the Shadow King to save him," she told him what happened.

"What price did you pay?" Tristan was horrified. He was instantly overwhelmed.

"Myself. I gave him what he wanted. I'll get back to him." she answered his question. "You and Mathias cannot go back to Amorite. It's too dangerous. Arawn rules there now."

"You think any of us is going to leave you there alone in that monster's power?" Tristan said in disbelief.

"Yes, that's exactly what you will do," Amaya said forcefully. "Besides, you have something else to take care of. I already talked to the commander about it. Ciaran will definitely go looking for me. You have to hold him back. He must not look for me. Never. Swear that you will stay here and prevent him from doing something stupid."

"You know I can't promise you that."

"You have to."

"Why doesn't the commander give him the letter?" Tristan asked. "He likes him."

"Because I believe you will understand his pain," Amaya replied.

⸸

The morning sun rose into the turquoise skies. It was becoming more pleasant in the warm parts of Deira than in the winter of Amorite. He woke up to a strange feeling. He opened his eyes. The warm rays of the sun tickled his cheeks. Amaya wasn't lying next to him. The bed was cold. The pillow still smelled like her. An eerie silence reigned in the chambers.

He had experienced such silence once before. The same moment. He hopes she'll emerge from the door at any moment and return to bed to him, but then suddenly finds that she's gone, that she's gone and won't come back. Even though she didn't admit it, he saw the sadness in her eyes. He was afraid that the past would repeat itself, but this time she wouldn't come back.

He went looking for her. Everyone he met in the corridors of the palace replied that had not seen her. His fears were becoming more and more real.

He found Prince Tristan practicing in the training room. He was furiously attacking the straw mannequin. He slashed into it with full force. He took out his anger on it.

"Prince Tristan." he interrupted him.

Tristan turned his attention to him. He sighed. The moment he had feared so much had arrived. Which Amaya forced him into.

Ciaran didn't even have to ask him that question, he answered straight away.

"She's gone," he told him, handing over the letter Amaya had left for him. "She doesn't want you to look for her."

His fears were fulfilled. The words he hoped he would never have to hear caught up with him. He took the letter and read it in private. Sadness mingled with anger in him. He didn't understand how she could leave without saying goodbye. He wanted to hate her for her decision, but at the same time, he understood her. He would have done the exact same thing. Various conflicting emotions were mixed in him. They were destroying him.

Fate must really hate him to take her away from him, he told himself.

Dear Ciaran,

this letter is very difficult for me to write. If you're reading it, it means I'm already gone. I have to explain it to you. They say the unknown is sweet, but you don't deserve the suffering it brings You deserve an explanation. I deliberately forgot to mention a few facts to you in order to protect the last happy moments we still had together.

The truth is that when that arrow hit you, you were dying. I could repeat a thousand times the good old rule that emotions are weakness, but I would sacrifice my own life for you if it meant that you would live. I made a deal with Arawn to save you. His price was that I would return to him and become a queen by his side. I accepted without hesitation. There was no time to negotiate. I would give anything for him to save you.

I understand that you may feel angry and betrayed right now, but I hope you understand my decision. I'd rather live hundreds of worlds away from you, knowing you're living your own life, than walk this earth knowing you're no more. Believe that my heart suffers the same and it hurts to leave. I believed in a shared eternity.

I thought about the possibility of erasing from your memories everything you ever felt for me, but as I said a long time ago I will not mess with your head, today is no exception. I couldn't do it. I thought about the possibility of telling you I love him to make you hate me, but even you probably wouldn't be able to believe such nonsense. I wouldn't even be able to say those words out loud. Forgive me my weakness. I couldn't relieve your pain.

Please don't look for me. I'm sure that if you were to set out to free me from Arawn's power, no one would be able to stop you, so I'm begging you not to. Arawn won't hurt you anymore. He can't if he doesn't want to break the deal. From now on, peace reigns between Deira and Amorite.

Live your life, dear Ciaran. Forget me, even though I never forget. I believe that maybe one day, even if it takes a thousand years, our fates will cross again, and just like now, forever my heart will belong only to you.

Goodbye my eternal king.

Love forever, your little goddess.