[Arthdal Chronicles] Fight for freedom

CHAPTER 51: The cause you chose to fight for.

It was with slow steps that Enoria headed to Saya's office with the scrolls Tagon wanted him to read. Her weary eyes were shrouded in darkness, haunted by the images she had seen and the things she had heard in the bad dream she had endured during the night and which seemed to cling to her like a suffocating cloak. As she approached Saya's office with the scrolls in hand, she moved as she was a shadow passing by.

Informed by the guards at the door that Saya was alone, she knocked then entered.

Saya looked up from his work, his eyes meeting hers with a mix of concern and curiosity. "I haven't seen you for a while," he pointed out.

"I've been busy," she simply replied as she put what she had brought to him on his desk then turned to leave.

"What are you so busy with?" he asked, stopping her, "you look like you've been fighting an army by yourself."

A sad faint smile drew on her face. Who she was fighting against terrified her more than an army. Her fears, her guilt, her pain were the army charging at her and she wasn't strong enough to face them. She was her own biggest enemy and Rin's voice telling her those words echoed in her mind like a haunting truth that she couldn't easily escape. She turned to him, hiding behind a small smile the turmoil she was facing since her conversation with Yangcha. "I am just a bit tired," she finally replied. 

"Is that so?" he asked, not convinced, "does your tiredness have a link with Yangcha's decision to keep you away from the war?"

She slowly shook her head. That problem had easily been settled. It was what had come after that was weighing on her heart and mind. "Even if I am not here to help, he will keep you safe and I am sure he won't be the only skilled Daekan in charge of assuring your safety so you don't have to worry, Commander."

The corner of his lips slightly raised. He felt proud to be called like that and yet, his decision to go after Eunseom as a first mission was preoccupying his thoughts more than he thought it would have. "Aren't you going to ask?" he questioned with a bit of hesitation, "I chose not to join the Ago Union, aren't you going to ask why?"

"I already told you: it was your choice to make."

"But just like Tanya, you probably think that I made the wrong one, don't you?"

"No, I understand. You probably made that choice by probing the pros and cons and concluded that joining Eunseom was too risky while staying by Tagon's side was more secure. It's understandable. But it seems you are not that comfortable about the choice you made after all. Maybe because you know deep down that trying to have Eunseom killed was something you shouldn't have done, even more if you wanted Tanya to give you a second chance."

"She won't ever give me a second chance, no matter what I do," Saya whispered, his gaze dropping to the scrolls on his desk. 

Enoria observed him silently, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sympathy and understanding. "Not for the kind of relationship you want with her, indeed. But she is willing to stay by your side as a friend so maybe you should try not to kill someone she deeply cares about. Ah, and I advise you not to tell Whan or Sana again that you could have them beheaded because I swear to you that if something happens to them because of you, I'd make you go through so much that you'd beg me to finish you. I came to appreciate you, Saya, but touching my family would be a really bad choice and you are smart enough to know that, aren't you?"

Saya looked up, meeting her intense gaze that left no doubt about how she meant every word she had just spoken. "Those were just exchanged words," he replied with a smirk, "I will not bring them real harm, don't worry."

"Wise decision. I guess you won't be surprised if I tell you that Whan doesn't want to train you anymore. I'll do my best to make myself available but you can train by yourself now that you know the basics. Now, tell me, since you are here this morning, does that mean that you have given up on chasing Eunseom through his way back to the Agoha Forest?"