[Arthdal Chronicles] Fight for freedom

CHAPTER 41: A decision to try.

Saya hadn't expected such a gesture coming from Tanya and so, when she put her lips on his, he froze.

She hadn't thought that much before acting. Saya needed to be reassured and she had felt it was the best way to do so. He was probably surprised by her gesture but she was too: she had never kissed anyone like that before. Eunseom had tried a few times when they were in Iark but she had never let him do so. She thought they had the time but one day the Daekans destroyed the life she imagined she would have. Now, Eunseom wasn't by her side anymore and even though she hoped she would be able to see him again, she knew that it would never be the same between them, not after everything that happened, not after everything she had done to survive in Arthdal. It was Saya who was by her side and even though she would have liked to marry someone she truly loved, he was her husband and she was his wife. It was maybe not the marriage of love she would have hoped for but instead of seeing it as a trap from which she couldn't escape, she wanted to try to make it work.

She didn't let the kiss last and quickly withdrew her lips from Saya's. She freed his face from her hands and they looked at each other in silence for a short moment that felt way too long for the both of them. He felt a warmth spreading through his chest. He had been waiting for this moment for what felt like an eternity, and now that it was finally here, he couldn't believe it. "Wh- why did you do that?" Saya finally asked.

Tanya looked away and awkwardly cleared her throat. "I want to try," she started in a low voice, "you are right. Eunseom is important to me and I can't tell you that I'll choose you rather than him if something were to happen but what I can tell you is that I don't want to have to choose. You and I, we are married and even though it's more of a political arrangement than anything else, I still want it to work. I can't promise I will either love you the way you want me to but I want to try and see where things could lead us."

Surprised by what he was hearing, Saya didn't immediately answer. The kiss had been short and innocent but it had made his heart beat faster and he needed time to process what had just happened and what she was saying. If she didn't want to have to choose that meant he meant something to her and if she was kissing him all of a sudden then it surely meant that she may have feelings for him. Or was she playing with him? Was she capable of going that far to be sure he would stay her ally? As much as he wanted to believe that wasn't the case, he knew he couldn't lower his guard. He wouldn't let her stab him in the back. "So it's possible that I win your heart one day?" he questioned her.

"I don't know. I have affection for you and it has been confusing me for the past few weeks but whether it's love or not, I honestly do not know. I am not even sure what love truly is."

If she was playing with him then she was good at not letting it show and if she was truly sincere with him then he wanted her more than ever. "I understand," he simply replied as he cupped her cheek in his hand then leaned towards her to drop a short kiss on her forehead. He perfectly understood her words. She had just put words on something he already knew: Eunseom would always be the main problem between them. As long as she longed for his brother, she wouldn't be entirely his and he wanted her to be his and she would be. Unlike her, he knew where Eunseom was. His dreams had revealed to him his brother's localisation and he knew perfectly what to do with the information he had. He was determined to do everything necessary to make Tanya fall for him and if he was sure to own her heart before his departure to war, he was even disposed to let Eunseom live or even better, he could be the one bringing him back to Tanya. He would be the hero bringing back her childhood's friend but he could only consider doing that if he was certain Eunseom wasn't a love rival. He didn't want to have to share Tanya with him or with anyone else. She would entirely be his and his only. She was already his wife, she would be his queen. He would have love and he would have power and their children would continue their lineages after them and for generations, his blood would reign. If Eunseom was a problem for the future he had in mind then he had to fix that problem with a simple, efficient and radical way: death.