As Potter is to Snape

Chapter 34

After that, Remus became very quiet, but Harry sat, seething beside him. He wanted to cry but he felt too angry.

"Their friend?" he questioned no one in particular. "He was their friend and he betrayed them. They trusted him!"

Throughout all of this, Severus sat quietly in the chair. He wanted to go to Harry, to find a way to be comforting. Anything so that he didn't feel so alone. But he couldn't. He just didn't know how, and even if he did, he wasn't sure that Harry wanted that. And so he sat, ramrod straight, as he watched Harry swipe angrily at a tear that escaped his eye.

"He was their friend, Harry. I don't say this to excuse him in the least because Merlin knows that if I'd been in the country at the time, I likely would have done just as Peter had. But before Voldemort got to him, Sirius Black was our best friend. He was the best man at their wedding and-" Remus cut himself off, seeing Severus shake his head sharply.

"And what?" Harry asked. He looked between Remus and Severus who stared at each

other in silence. "Tell me," Harry said angrily.

"He was, er, still is your godfather," Remus admitted.

"What?" Harry felt shaken. "When did that happen? Before or after he became friends with Voldemort?!"

"Before," Severus spoke for the first time since they had sat down. "He was your father's best friend, Harry. It was only natural that they would make him your godfather in the event that something happened to them."

"What about my Mum's best friend, then? I know it wouldn't have been Aunt Petunia. There is no way that she was close with her. Not with how Aunt Petunia always talked about her."

Severus sighed. "It wouldn't have been Petunia, Harry. But it wasn't a possibility at the time for her to have it be someone else."

"Why?" Harry wanted to know. He had never given the idea so much as a second thought before, but he desperately wanted to know who his mother would have picked to be his godparent. That person could have taken him from the Dursleys to begin with. "Who would she have picked?"

Severus stared for a long moment at the boy who had somehow become one of the biggest parts of his life. Could he tell him now who Lily would have picked? Would he believe him? Or would he think he was only saying it to appease him? In the end, it didn't matter because Severus knew more than anything that he couldn't lie to Harry. Not now and not about this.

"Me," he finally admitted. "She would have picked me. Or at least, she might have if she hadn't thought I was a Death Eater at the time. Though James and I weren't friends at all, Lily was my very best friend. But by the time she married James and had you, I was already deep in my role as a spy. There was no way that I could have taken on any role that would connect me to the Light."

"You?" Harry looked at him in confusion. "I don't understand. If she would have picked you, after Voldemort fell, you could have taken me in. I wouldn't have had to live with the Dursleys."

Severus nodded. "Yes, but she didn't. And because of that, you had to go to your relatives. It was the only option."

"I hate him," Harry said after a long, quiet moment. Severus looked at him and saw that his normally bright green eyes were now dark and angry. "I hope he does find me."

"Harry-" Remus said abruptly but Harry continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"I hope he finds me, because when he does, I'll be ready. When he does, I'm going to kill him!"

***

Severus and Harry floo'd home after that and Harry immediately stalked off to his room, slamming the door behind him. Severus let him go without a word. He knew all too well what it was to feel such anger and knew that more than anything, Harry would want to be alone for a while. Though, it didn't make him feel any better about watching him go. He could only hope that by morning, he would feel up to talking about it. He was thankful that tomorrow was Sunday and that Harry wouldn't also have to deal with classes on top of everything else.