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The Nanny by ONE_H

HK Book Review Shop
The Nanny by ONE_H

Thank you for your submission, it is really appreciated.

I apologise that the review formatting has changed. The review will still cover the same elements as before. I do not have the time to change the formatting to previous reviews.

Reviewed on 20.12.23
Reviewed by romance_lover16

Opening Scene:
At first, I didn't have a clue what was going on, but as I kept reading, I understood the intensity of the situation our protagonist faced. I love the various uses of figurative language, but I feel like it can become a bit too much at times. Additionally, I would suggest shortening the chapters to keep your readers' attention span strong. I also really like that we're introduced to Harida, our main character, right from the start and we also get a grasp of her personality.

Characterization and Motivation:
It's clear that Harida is motivated to be self-sufficient. She wouldn't take any money from Praise, and she even refuses to take food from the man that offers it to her after the bus incident. However, despite this, her character is still a mystery. Granted, these are early chapters, but I'd like to get more into Harida's mind in the beginning of the story so that later on we can understand her motivations.

Plot:
As the story moves along, the plot becomes clear and compelling, but in the beginning it drags quite a bit. It isn't until around chapter five that I begin to see some action in terms of plot development. However, the action that takes place throughout the story is done wonderfully! Harida's character is fleshed out through her interactions with the people she meets, especially Praise and her helper at the beginning. I do wish we'd gotten a flashback after the bus scene to delve deeper into Harida's character, and potentially, the plot.

Pacing:
Overall, the pacing seems good. As I mentioned before, I'd suggest making the chapters shorter to keep your readers engaged, but the pacing is fine. For now, it's a bit slow, but I understand that build up sometimes takes time, and the writer does an excellent job to keep the reader engaged while waiting for the first climax.

Setting:
I believe the setting takes place in Nigeria, because of the author explaining the language of pidgin. I love the inclusion of a wide variety of cultures and how the author weaves the everyday culture into her story through the food, style of speaking, and clothing. I do want to see more of the setting, however, and instead of explaining to the readers in footnotes about the culture, I'd like to see it incorporated in the story itself.

Dialogue:
The dialogue is splendid! The author has a way with words that's truly extraordinary and I love how seamlessly they are able to write their chapters. I enjoy the eloquent voice of the writer that translates into Harida's no-nonsense but secretly desperate tone as we follow her story.

Craft:
I saw a lot of showing instead of telling, which is really good! That's what we're supposed to be seeing. It's easy to visualize Harida's actions and emotions, but again, I would like to see more of the world itself rather than being told about it through footnotes.

Overall Impression:
When I first started reading this story, I expected it to be a cliche story about a woman who falls for the man whose baby she's looking after, but I was pleasantly surprised! Despite its title, the story is compelling and unique and refreshing and I enjoyed it a lot! Harida is a strong, fierce character but she's not unlikable. She's determined to keep herself afloat on her own terms and works hard.

Note for the Author

Dear Author,

You may find this review valuable, you may not. However, this is one opinion on your work.

Your book is special as you have spent countless hours creating it from your creativity, hard work, and determination. If your book is a first draft, remember this will need to be edited.

No book, art piece is perfect. And, that's okay.

No one knows your story better than you do. As long as you feel proud of it, consider your book a success.

Reviews can only offer suggestions that could improve your book. Do not take this review to heart.

Trust yourself. You poured your heart and soul into this book, and that is something to be proud of.

Keep writing because one day your book will be someone's favourite.

From,
romance_lover16