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Dungeon by Ablazeisleo

HK Book Review Shop
Dungeon by Ablazeisaleo

Thank you for your submission, it is really appreciated.

Reviewed on 26.11.23
Reviewed by BeckyAnyanwu

Opening scene:
🔸Does the story begin with an interesting hook, creating a desire to read more?
I liked it. I really liked it. The descriptions were actually the things that built up the tension, as far as I am concerned. Bryan looks like an interesting and disturbed person that I might just love (I am serious, yes. I am okay). But there was one thing, the part where I found out that it was a dream; it was confusing. I would recommend using italics when writing about nightmares. So that when you begin the next paragraph, it will be clear that the words above described a dream the person had.

Also, I saw that the author had attached some awards and features to the chapters of your book. In my opinion, if you look at the works of other million-reads books on Wattpad, you'll realize that no one does that. I would advise that you attach those stickers to your cover and add the features to your blurb (such that it will be the first thing people read when they see your blurb) instead of making a whole chapter for them. Just imagine you're submitting the book for wattys, it'll come across as if you're flaunting your achievements and most of those awards/communities are not affiliated with wattpad. So it may not be recognised. I hope I didn't sound too serious (forgive me, I am a nocturnal person)  : )

🔹Does the manuscript begin in the right place?
Certainly. I liked the author's narration style. It surely began at the right place.

Characterization and motivation:
🔸Are the characters compelling, sympathetic, or someone you can root for?
First, let's talk about this. It distracted me (sorry)

I was just wondering why 'irritation' was in italics. Surely he wasn't saying it, so I wonder why the author decided to write the word in italics.

Secondly, yes Bryan is actually a compelling character. Because of the author's descriptions, I began to feel sympathetic for him (losing two parents is not an easy thing to experience).

🔹Do the characters feel real and three-dimensional, with distinct voices, flaws, and virtues?
As said before, the author's descriptive style is compelling, but I found that Bryan's voice may not have felt real to me. It's easy to know when he's speaking but maybe the author should try a little bit to make Bryan's voice unique. Again, I like the author's descriptive style (to tell the truth, I am beginning to see well-written books on Wattpad these days).

Secondly, I think the author should clarify who is speaking in this paragraph below;