TUM MILE

chapter 27

The morning sun was spreading its glory in the east. The red colour resembling that of vermilion brightened the sky. Swara, who could not close her eyes even for a second that night, was now staring at the sun's glory. Two days had passed since she got to know about the demise of her love. Had everything been normal, today would have been their wedding day.

She turned and looked at Ragini who was fast asleep on the bed. She was too exhausted. She went to hospital early morning itself and came back at breakfast time, not for anyone but for Swara to make sure she ate on time. Same with lunch and dinner. She was doing the duties of a sister and fiance but was torn herself too.

Swara came near Ragini. She knew she was too tired. And if this would continue, then definitely she would lose herself and she would never allow her to do so. She could never see Ragini's sweet chirpiness turning into lifeless tragedy.

She took out the jhumkas Sanskar gave her and caressed them lovingly. The feeling that Sanskar had touched them once gave her immense relief. At least she could feel the touch of Sanskar whenever she wanted to!

She heard a knock on the door. Trying not to wake up Ragini, she slowly opened the door and saw Sharmistha standing with chai in her hand. Seeing chai, Swara smiled a little.

"Can I come in?" Sharmistha asked.

"Please choti ma!" Swara said.

Sharmistha caressed Ragini's hair and smiled a little, "I never knew Ragini is so strong."

Swara smiled. Sharmistha was right.

"But you have always been stronger Swara!" Sharmistha said sipping the tea from her own cup, "Swara! I know I am not in a position to understand what you are going through. The one who go through the situation only understands the pain. I can just tell you one thing. Yes, the grief should never be masked with false show of strength. But grief should never overpower your thoughts too."

Swara nodded. She said the same thing Janki would have said.

"Swara! Take your time to come out of things. But don't think of ending your life or such. I am telling you this thing straight on your face. I don't know how to sugarcoat things. I may not know you properly as a mother. But I care for you. And I am getting afraid seeing your condition. If any such things ever cross your mind, you will come straight to me to get a tight slap. Understood!"

Swara did not know she should laugh or cry at the thoughts of her choti ma. It's true that she did not know her. Had she knew her, she would never have said the word suicide. And on the other hand, the fear she had in her eyes for her made her feel loved. She genuinely cared for her, though not aware completely of her thinking process.

"Choti ma! I promise!" Swara replied with a smile, "I won't do this!"

"Good! Now sleep a little please! Your eyes are swollen!" Sharmistha said and forcefully pulled her towards bed. Gently she kept her head on her lap and started caressing her hair.

Swara felt warm tears in her eyes. And while crying, she did not know when she slept.

When she woke up, it was already 2 pm in noon. She saw Ragini getting ready in light coloured clothes for going somewhere.

"Ragu? Where are you going?" She asked

"Oh! I was just about to wake you up." Ragini said, "Swara! Today is the prayer meet....for....."

Swara knew Ragini could not say the complete sentence. So without loading her with much tensions, she just nodded. The day which would have been their wedding, was the day of prayer meet of her groom. How many more ironies had God kept in for her!