Cat Got Your Tongue

18- Savor

The swishing of your tail was the only sound in your shared bedroom. You were curled up next to Hoseok. You got through the rest of the afternoon without a single person asking if you were alright. Inside you were nearly hyperventilating, but on the outside you were smiling and lying yourself into oblivion.

People often used the expression "lost in thought" and now you wonder what kind of "lost" they were experiencing. It's possible to get lost and simply enjoy the journey, taking thought after meandering thought until they can't remember where they started.

What you were experiencing was not a pleasant meandering. For you, it was a frantic scurrying from one worry to another, crisscrossing and tangling over previous thoughts until you were so worn down and tied down you just had to give up and cry.

You thought about Hoseok sitting on the bed last night crying because he didn't want to be alone and you reassured him that he wasn't alone. Now you were laying here knowing that you were going to be left alone.

Jungkook and Yoongi knew the whole time that Jin was Hoseok's old owner. Now that Jin was in the picture, wasn't it just a matter of time before they took you to the shelter?

"What are you worrying about Y/N?" Hoseok's tone was contemplative, his scent mellow and clean, he had clearly been a different "lost" then you and you didn't want to ruin his mood with yours.

"Tell me about Jin, does he seem much different?" You distracted him from your own panic and hoped this conversation would help lead you out of your trapped state. A smile quirked onto his lip and a fondness that you knew so well snuggled into his features, pushing his cheeks and making crescent moons of his eyes.

"He's definitely matured. He graduated college, I'm so fucking proud of him! He's been with Taehyung for almost three years now. This whole time Jungkook has reminded me so much of Jin and now I know why, they're cousins! Jin works for Hybrid Control, like Jungkook and travels too. He's been in Japan for the last two months."

When he stopped talking, you assumed he was waiting for some kind of response, so you hummed in acknowledgement. You were worried Hoseok would focus back on your distress, so you asked him another question.

"So do you think Jin will adopt you?" Hoseok shrugged, but his smile was a giveaway.

"We're going to do some days out with just the three of us. To make sure Taehyung and I are a good fit too, but I'm not too worried about that. Taehyung seems so sweet! We're going to spend the day together tomorrow."

There was silence again and you scrambled for something else to say, but Hoseok was quicker than you were.

"I saw Jungkook kiss your nose earlier." He didn't continue, was there a question there?

"Yes." Your throat felt dry and scratchy. This sensation, this growing doubt was like exposing your heart to the sun, you could feel the tingling, aching burn starting to grow deeper and get worse.

"So things are going good?" You imagined the snapping sound of your resolve echoing in the room. You didn't want to lie to Hoseok, that felt exhausting at the moment, but you also didn't want to be completely honest with him either.

"Jungkook's an affectionate person," You answered calmly, "Kisses don't necessarily mean anything."

"What's this?" Hoseok tsked, "Shouldn't you be ecstatic, excited that he's kissed you?" It was a playful jest, he was always so playful, but you didn't want to play.

"Tons of people have kissed me, just for the sake of kissing, it didn't mean anything to them. They were just after the physical pleasure that comes with it." Hoseok propped himself up on his elbow so he could look down at you properly.