ILARIA (book 3)

42. ILARIA

Arturo looks at me with the most disappointed look.

"Set your face straight, Da Rosa." I keep filing my nails.

"30, Ilaria. 30 of my men died under your supervision."

"31." I look up. "Don't discredit me."

He looked appalled. "You... You're not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny but why are your men programmed to attack me."

"They're programmed to attack intruders trying to flee my hostages." He bangs his fists on the desk.

"Don't get all pissy with me, Arturo. You lied to me. Akahana is innocent and deserves nothing of what you did to her. You should be lucky I don't beat your ass too-"

"When will you stop obsessing over the Hamada's."

"When will you stop obsessing over them?" I roll my eyes.

"Three weeks, Ilaria. Then you will take my surname." He stands up tall.

I scoff. "Yeah. No. Goodbye, Arturo." I walk out.

I get in my car and drive right to the airport. I book the first commercial flight to New York and update my parents that I'll be there soon.

Then I get Keilani go pick my car up and take it back to hers.

Within a couple of hours i'm back in the city.

Mom takes me to her favourite cafe. "What happened in Chicago?"

"I don't want to marry Arturo." I shove a piece of brownie in my mouth. "And I hooked up with Asahi."

Instead of getting disappointed like I expected her to, she just smiles.

"What is that smile for?"

"You remind me of me. I remember once I was so mad at Roman that I swore to never speak to him again. Lasted all of 5 minutes." She sips her coffee. "I like you and Asahi."

"You don't think it's oh so dangerous and stupid." I mock Romeo's voice.

She laughs. "I think you'll have your difficulties but the heart wants what it wants. You can't choose to not love somebody."

"I wish all my brothers held your wisdom mamma." I slurp my milkshake.

"They're men, they never will." She looks over her shoulder as Luca starts walking in. He kisses moms cheek, then my cheek, then sits between us.

"Watcha talking about?" He takes moms cookies.

"The unfortunate events of getting massive blood clots that look like little babies." I say to Luca .

He just nods his head, rolling his eyes.

"Papa, if you had to choose between marrying mom because you loved her or marrying a woman for an alliance and a title, what would you choose?"

"Obviously your mom."

"But, mom was really bad for you and caused problems."

"Still, your mom. Is this hypothetical with you and Asahi?" He raises an eyebrow.

I nod my head.

"Okay well... hypothetically, your mom isn't a federal agent who clearly doesn't want marriage."

It's like a slap in the face.

"Go away." Mom tuts. "Go do boy stuff."

"I am a grown man." He stands up. He looks at me though. "You do whatever you wish. I know you don't want to marry Arturo though. If you want, I can call that all off."

"Please." I smile.

He kisses the top of my head, then kisses moms lips and walks away.

"You could just marry Leo." She suggests. "Make him a capo."

"Leo has had a thing for Matteo like... his entire life."

"He has?"

"Yup. I just think I'll give it a rest. Hopefully find somebody soon."

"I mean, there's all the capo's in Italy. The ones in China too."

"Yeah. Give men a break for a while." I lean back. "You know I killed 31 men?"

"That's my girl." She winks proudly.

We spend the whole day doing stuff, and not once does she get sick of me talking about Asahi. We facetime Matteo and dad while they're in Italy, plan a visit and then I stay in my old bedroom, staring at the pink hearts on my ceiling.

I turn my phone on, go in my camera roll and look at all the stupid pictures and videos I took of me and him.

I definitely should delete them, but I don't.

I just keep watching them and scrolling through them.

I stop on one where I'm taking a selfie in his car, phone angled high. He was looking at me with a beautiful smile on his face that looked so fond of me.

I favourite it, smiling at it.

I never realised how beautiful that picture was before.

Alessio helps himself into my bedroom, hugging me like he did when he was a toddler. "That a nice picture." He smiles at it.

"Is it wrong of me to keep these?"

"No. Memories." He closes his eyes. "I'm gonna nap."

I let him nap while I stare at that photo.

It's the first time I see Asahi actually look like he loves me.

And that gave me some hope.

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to live for the hope of it all. cancel plans just incase you call 🧍‍♀️😔

word count: 878