Clouds 𝓸𝓯 Grey || #3 [working on editing]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐲-𝐬𝐢𝐱.

"You'll have to go, Hanniel. It's a decision we've made."

A decision they made, but Dad was barely speaking.

I turned to Dad, completely ignoring Mum. "Do you want me to go too?"

I wasn't even surprised when Dad slowly shook his head. "I... I don't want you to go, but you don't have to pause your studies because of me, son. I'll be fine, I promise."

Maybe it was the bare, completely unmasked emotions in my father's eyes, or the fact that this was the first time he'd actually look at me, maintain eye contact with me a look in his eye that didn't speak of any other feeling than love for his own child.

Why did it feel like Dad was leaving me?

I fought back the tears that struggled to resurface, the ones I'd been trying to push away all these days. All the times I'd step into his room, place a glass of water beside him and run out. I'd always been such a coward, I couldn't even face my own father when he was sick.

"You never told me the cause of your illness, Dad," I slowly said, sniffing before I could stop myself and then clearing my throat to cover up.

"It doesn't matter," Mum butted in, "what matters is he'll be fine."

I snapped my eyes shut for a brief moment. Mum was being so difficult and annoying right now. All I wanted was to have an actual conversation with my own Dad.

"I can't say much, Hanniel," Dad told me, his voice sounding like a plea on behalf of Mum. He could probably read the frustration on my face and of course he'd defend his wife. Well, ex-wife.

Mum and Dad divorcing would never be reasonable to me. They were always in love and would always be in love with each other, even if they never admitted it.

"I know you're beating yourself up." I watched my father struggle to sit up on his own, while I sat helplessly on my own as Mum assisted him in doing so. "You do that every time. This lifestyle of perfectionism you've got going on, it's unhealthy. There are ups and downs, son, you'll get used to them eventually." A full blown cough followed. "I know you beat yourself up when your brother died, but it was never your fault."

No, it wasn't. But I could live by believing so. Life would have been so better with me and my twin brother. I didn't even spend up to five years with him.

I think that was where my problems started.

My parents divorcing, them abandoning me, and transitions in my own life that took me by surprise.

"But I'm proud of you for being so strong. I mean, you're a Cardin. I love you very much, Hanniel."

Dad was really saying his last goodbyes.

He really was.

~

My phone dinged and I knew it was a text from nobody from Komisola.

Of course it was.

grey eyes:

Hey.

I felt the corners of my lips twitch up a little in a smile. She didn't have to do too much, I'd take whatever she gave me.

I was down bad, indeed.

So I texted back with a simple hi.

grey eyes:

What did I say about typing in lower-case?

I chuckled. She'd warned me about how unserious my typing was. I also used abbreviations which she totally detested, and in her words, "I don't know if abbreviations will save your data."

ME:

typing in lowercase is fun, komisola. you should try it sometime :)

For the first time, she typed back instantly.

grey eyes:

If you type my name in lowercase again, I'll actually injure you when I see you.

ME:

that's cute, but you can't even reach my neck.

grey eyes:

Fuck you very much, Hanniel.

ME:

*coughs* byeee

I really did miss her. Just a few minutes of talking to Komisola and my mood had somehow been lifted.

Maybe there was happiness somewhere after all.

a/n: oh Hanniel. I love him sm.

hi guys, I'd have made this chapter a little longer but this book is strictly short chapters, so... what we have.

i'm writing exams currently, but i've been in such a shitty state, it's very hard to read. i also have a paper tomorrow. ik you guys didn't expect another update this fast, but i plan to wrap this book up before this year runs out.

anyways, have a great time guys :)
and pleaseee, VOTE, COMMENT, SHARE. TY🫶🏾

and peep the image attached in the media above. that was my top song for my Spotify wrapped, and I also claimed it as Hanniel's song too, bc that's his situation currently. so let's say, if he had a Spotify Wrapped, that would be his :)