Would You Say I'm Worth It

Workin' On Our Night Moves

Dean stirs awake in the middle of the night, jumping slightly out of fear when he feels a palm on the small of his back beneath the covers. He glances up, and it was just Benny, who was still fast asleep. It takes the hunter a minute to collect himself, his heart still pounding as he makes his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. He pauses in the doorway, smiling at the vamp and angel who are snuggled together under the covers. It was oddly peaceful, and oddly normal, seeing them like this. Hell, seeing himself with them...it felt perfect.

Dean tugs on a pair of sweatpants, and throws his robe on over top of it before quietly slipping out of the bedroom, padding into the kitchen as he rubs his eyes. It was about four in the morning, Sam would likely be waking up soon to go on his morning run, so Dean decides to be courteous and start the coffee pot, turning on the radio with some light tunes of Led Zeppelin and ZZ Top as he pulls out his meal.

Blood - breakfast of champions.

Dean doesn't know exactly how long he's been a vampire. He knew he was captive for roughly four months in total, but how long out of that he was the human food bank before being turned? He wasn't sure. But what he does know, even now, after drinking it so many times - drinking blood grossed him out. It wasn't the same as tasting blood when he was human, he's come to find out - it actually tastes good now instead of like pennies...in fact, it tasted addictively sweet. And it wasn't even the texture that grossed him out, it's thick yet smooth consistency easily coats the inside of his mouth in every nook and cranny. Perhaps it was the fact that it was the source of human life - that he was drinking something that came from a living, breathing person. Donated or not, the thought creeped him out.

In an even weirder sense...Dean kinda understood veganism now, too.

Dean discards the empty bags into the trash, before shifting to the map table, looking through the stack of files. Sam had a backlog of cases to look into that have been getting neglected, due to the events surrounding Dean. He wanted to get back into the saddle, get back to as normal as normal could be. Hell, he wanted to go on a drive. He wanted to do all of everything, all at once, and the more and more he shifts through papers, eyes darting across words that blur together, he becomes overwhelmed, pushing away from the table in frustration.

How were other hunters going to react to Dean not being human? How was that going to affect him on the job? What if he loses control, and hurts someone - hurts Sam?

How was any of this going to work?

Dean hears the taunting words of the Alpha, clawing their way into his brain now, sending a cold shiver down his spine.

"What I want, when I want, how I want."

It was like a never ending loop in his mind, alongside the feelings and smells he experienced while he was with the Alpha in the bathtub, while he was in the bed...the weight of his body always pushing down on him as his heart pounds. Perhaps Benny was right, maybe he had gone to his lovers too soon...maybe he wasn't ready. He loved them and wanted to be with them, that he was sure of, but maybe he shouldn't have slept with them last night...maybe that's what's triggering everything after two weeks of being out.

In his brain, Dean is at full on war with himself. But to the outside world, he appears calm, staring off blankly in the distance.

Dean can hear a heartbeat approaching from down the hall, and can even smell his brother before seeing him. He must've woken him up by accident.

"Hey." Sam says wearily, his long hair haphazardly strewn about from sleep.

Dean smiles slightly, giving his brother a nod before turning in the office chair. "What's the plan today?" He asks eagerly, needing something else to think about besides sex.