Would You Say I'm Worth It

When Is A Monster, Not A Monster?

Dean remembers bits and pieces of the ride back to the bunker. Sam was driving, white knuckling the steering wheel, Cas was in the front seat with a hand reaching back, holding one of Dean's limp hands within his own. He was laying across the back seat, head in Benny's lap. Benny has an open cooler of blood next to them in the seat, and has been gently feeding Dean through breaks in consciousness, squirting the blood through his dry, cracked lips bit by bit.

When Dean wakes up in his own bed, the familiar scent of the bunker seeping in through his nose...he notes that he feels a little stronger, a little less sore. Benny is beside him, the bedroom lights off, helping Dean feed again.

Benny holds Dean close, cooing soft words of comfort into the newborn vamp's ear while he whimpers, bones shifting and crunching as they mend - a good kind of pain that means he is becoming stronger, strong enough to heal himself.

Cas pokes in every hour or so, just to check in, but Dean is hardly ever awake, just curled up small in Benny's arms. The older vamp gives the angel half-hearted smiles of reassurance that provide little comfort - they both sensed how broken Dean had become. Sam, Charlie, and Kevin have not been allowed in to see Dean, Benny has strongly advised that they stay their distance until Dean could function with some sort of brain, rather than feral hunger in his starved state. It was safer for all of them that way. Keep the humans out of sight, out of mind.

Benny remembers being a newborn, the animalistic instinct that just consumes if you go one day too long without a meal. Seeing Dean in the condition that had found him in, who knows how long the alpha had starved him - tortured him.

His heart hurt for Dean.

Dean stirs where he sleeps on his side in the bed, softly groaning in weary discomfort. Benny reaches across, pulling out another blood bag as he gently sits Dean up in the bed, pulling him against his chest.

"Hey, Mon Cher... here-" Benny brings the bag up to Dean's mouth, placing the tubing against his lips allowing Dean to weakly suck at it like a straw, coughing slightly because he was drinking too fast.

"Slow down, darlin', it ain't goin' nowhere." Benny hums, kissing Dean's temple while he feeds.

Right now, Dean was like a bottomless pit, drinking anywhere from seven to ten bags a feeding, his body overcompensating for both his injuries and malnourished state. Once his body was back in check, the feedings would balance out to normal, but for the time being, they needed to keep blood fully stocked.

Eventually, a pile of empty bags sits on the nightstand, and Dean's body visibly relaxes against Benny. Benny could smell it, Dean was scared still. His scent hasn't changed since they'd found him. He still smelled like the hunter he'd known and fell in love with, but also new in ways that made Benny sad. He no longer smelled like the Earth, like the sweet tang of citrus and mint gum. He smelled like a monster, just like himself. Benny can't help but think back to Andrea, how she had been turned and forced into this cursed life.

He won't let Dean follow that same path.

"Dee, I'm gon' take care of you, love. I'll feed you, protect you - always. I don' want you t'ever have to worry about fallin' astray, I'll be there to guide you every step of the way."

Dean doesn't say anything, he hasn't for days. He just stares at Benny, eyes full of hurt and sadness. It was a horrific sight.

- - - - - - - - -

Sam is killing himself, staying up all day, and all night in search of a cure for vampirism past the first feeding. He lives on straight black coffee, mirroring Kevin Tran with dark raccoon eyes and a generally drained expression. He knew there was no cure - he knew. But he had to do something, because he feels as though he went too long with doing nothing. And having Dean home, so close yet not be able to see him? It was a lot...too much. He just wanted his big brother back. Rowena vanished into the woodwork after Castiel freed her from Crowley, telling the angel that she would reach out again when it was safe for her to. But for now, she had to go into hiding. Benny was exhausted too, he's been nursing Dean along and doting on him nonstop for three days, only getting a few minutes of sleep here and there.