Would You Say I'm Worth It

I Was Lost, But Now Im Found

It's been a little over two weeks since Dean had been brought home to the bunker, and everyone was taking things slow. Charlie and Kevin moved back out, Kevin having decided to take a long overdue break from translating to focus on himself and his mother. Charlie didn't go far, she'd begun renting an apartment in town. Both friends felt as though the family needed space and room to heal. Sam had to admit, he was a little relieved to have the place back to themselves, but was also a little disappointed, as they had all grown much closer in the months they'd spent together.

But it wasn't goodbye, he had to keep telling himself that.

Dean had started talking finally, not a lot, and not in the same way he had before, no jokes or kindergarten comebacks - but better than how he had been. Short sentences, simple responses - but better than nothing. He would get there, Sam knew that, but the sheer trauma his normally chatty brother had to go through for it to literally render him speechless...the thought made him sick. And Dean hadn't said one single word about being in the Alpha's nest, and nobody pushed or questioned it. He would say something when he was ready, right now, they were his safe space, his security.

Dean was in the library this afternoon, reading a book quietly, tucked away by himself for once when Sam had finally found him. Sam furrowed his brow, snorting slightly as he sat across from his brother.

"Dude, since when do you read?" He asks in a joking tone.

Dean smirks slightly. "Picked up a few new hobbies while I was away, Sammy. Found out I kinda like the quiet of it all."

Sam nods, almost a little stunned. "Wow..."

"What?" Dean retorts.

"Just...not something I ever thought I'd hear you say." Sam smiles a bit, a little awestruck.

Dean smiles to mirror his brother, gently tucking a Gas N' Sip receipt between the pages as a bookmark. "You and me both."

Sam doesn't say anything for a moment, his mouth opening and closing briefly as he tries to form the words. "Dean, I actually wanted to uh...talk to you about something."

"I won't talk about it, not yet." Dean says softly, looking off to the side.

Sam quickly back peddles. "Oh, no no no, not that. It's about something else.

Dean looks intrigued now, sitting forward in silent question.

Sam becomes a little flush now. "It's about Cas and Benny."

Dean nods, understanding the unasked question as he leans back in his seat.

"Do you love them?" Sam asks softly.

Dean meets his gaze, his tone confident and unhesitant. "I do."

Sam's face relaxes, a slight grin tugging at his lips.

"They make me happy, Sam. Happy in a way I thought I'd never have."

"Why didn't you tell me before, Dean?"

Dean shrugs. "I was nervous to tell you...I didn't want you to be disappointed, look down on me. I don't know, it's stupid because I know you. I know you wouldn't balk at the idea I just...I was scared, I think."

"You know, no matter what...gay, bi, trans- Hell, vampire, werewolf, whoever you are, no matter what, at the end of the day you're my brother. My family. I'll always be at your side, I'll always love you no matter what." Sam scooches forward, his eyes shifting down to his hands as he nervously picks his cuticles. "And I owe you the world's biggest apology."

Dean shakes his head, already gobsmacked by Sam's gushing and affectionate speech. "Sammy, no-"

"No, Dean. Just- I need to say this. I was...WAY wrong, and far out of line about Benny. I was so wrapped up in comparing him to Amy, the fact that he was a vampire, him and the venom situation...I wouldn't even allow myself to try to see past it because I thought, in some way, that I was protecting you, doing what was best for you. And it took me almost losing you to see that I had really fucked up. Despite everything I said and did to him, Benny really stepped up to the plate while you were gone, carried all of us on his shoulders and held us together. I drove him away, and you got taken in trying to fix my screw up, and for that I am...so, so sorry Dean."