Vampires in Las Vegas

Yo Ho Yo Ho

EPOV

Emmet spent the last 15 minutes spelling out his 'master plan' for the weekend. A few things I had to nix like the matching tattoos, piercings, body shots off of the bartenders at Hooters, and driving out to some horrible brothel to take a picture of Jasper in front just to "see Alice's face". At the mention of that idea, Jasper tried to jump from the car, fortunately I knew it was coming, and held the door locks shut so he couldn't escape.

His only other idea that got blown to bits, and not by me, was by the sunny day outside. He wanted to take a tour of the topless pools of Las Vegas. Since it was sunny, he had come up with the idea of getting a room at each hotel that 'overlooked' the topless pool so he could fog up the window with his heavy breathing I guess. Luckily, I was able to point out how much time that would take and he finally gave up the idea. He was, however, dead set on going to a strip club, that part of the plan was set in stone.

I could see Jasper in his mind. He was planning on covering his eyes the whole time we were at the strip club and Emmett was planning on paying the strippers a lot to give him a lap dance. Now that would be something to see. It was probably what Alice had warned me about, but I couldn't be sure until later.

"Silly question I know Emmett, but where are we going to stay?" A simple question, a simple answer was all it took, but that was impossible with Emmett in Vegas.

He began singing at the top of his lungs "Yo Ho Yo Ho a pirates life for me

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me"

There was no escaping, he would sing the whole song. All he had to say was "Treasure Island, Edward, where we always stay." But not Emmett. He had a full routine to this song with hand motions and all. It looked like Treasure Island the musical in the car. None of us would ever go on Pirates of the Caribbean with him at Disney because he made such an ass of himself. The windows were shaking from the force of his voice and he still had two more verses but I couldn't stand it any longer. I swerved across three lanes for traffic on the Vegas strip and fishtailed the car onto the side of the road.

"Emmett Cullen, can you just pretend to be a man, rather than a 7 year old boy at Disney? We get it, you like pirates, you love pirates, you love playing pirate as was apparent three years ago when we all walked in on you and Rosalie playing Pirate and Wench in the family room! The phrase 'Pirate Booty' is forever ruined in our minds. Please, calm down." And for the first time in a few hours I hear Jasper laugh, out loud. Hopefully he was starting to come around.

"Fine Mr. Pirate Hater- we can stay somewhere else. I suppose you want to go to to a boring casino like Bellagio or Caesars Place where everyone is all dignified and snooty. Whatever..." I could tell I hurt his feeling so I caved.

"No, Emmett this is your plan, so Treasure Island here we come!" I turned onto the Las Vegas strip. People were everywhere on the street. It was great town because there was more that went on at night than in the day so it was perfect for vampires. When we were close enough to make out the pirate ship in front of Treasure island, Emmett could no longer contain himself. He started humming, nicely the rest of his pirate tune. Jasper had even relaxed enough to join in. I was laughing as we pulled under the canopy of the valet parking. The valet at Treasure Island was perfect for us because it was completely covered and the shadow from the hotel cast directly over us so all the sun was blocked from the area allowing us to safely exit the cars.

We walked into the hotel and were immediately welcomed by an old friend of Emmett's, Wench Ruth. She was the one Emmett called whenever he came to town without Rosalie because she knew what room he liked, what he like to do and she would help keep him busy. The only problem was she found Emmett hilarious so she had, in hand when we walked through the door a pirate hat ans sword just for him so he could fit in with the theme of the hotel. In my opinion there was nothing more pitiful than a grown man in costume in the middle of the day. They began having a conversation in pirate lingo which I decided to block out. Jasper and I walked around the corner to the gift shop and I looked for a souvenir for Bella. I may need it to suck up after this was all over.

I wondered what the girls were doing now, where they were and that's when it happened. I heard Alice's thoughts Edward? Suddenly I had a flash of Alice screaming cover yourself and throwing a towel at Bella. And then nothing. As fast as it happened, it ended. I didn't quite know what to make of it and Jasper seeing my face ran over at once. "What happened?"

"For a minute I thought I heard Alice. But then it was gone, so I'm not sure. Right before it happened I was thinking about Bella. Thats' so weird, she'd have to be..." Oh no. I didn't finish the sentence out loud. She'd have to be really close for me to hear her thoughts. Were they in Vegas? Were they in the hotel waiting for us, ready to pounce? We they on their way? This spelled trouble.

Jasper sat down in the corner "They're coming for us Edward, they're coming I can feel it. We aren't safe here. Damn that Emmet and his eternal love of Wenches! They will know exactly where we are and how to find us. What are we going to do?"

After all we went through to get this far, there was no way I was going to give up this easy. "Get up Jasper. We've got to find Emmett." he jumped up and we ran back toward the lobby of the hotel. Emmett was no where to be found. One of the desk workers saw us frantically searching and asked "Are you looking for the big really guy dressed like a pirate singing A Pirate's Life for Me?"

"Unfortunately. Yes" Jasper said acidly.

"He headed to the buffet with Wench Ruth." She said laughing.

A buffet? What the hell was Emmett going to do at a buffet? Out into the casino we followed the signs to the buffet and our question was answered immediately. He and Wench Ruth were going from table to table talking to people like he was a real pirate. Again it reminded my of a bad character dinner at Disney. He saw us standing there dumbfounded and yelled "Ahoy Mates!"

"The girls are headed to Vegas Emmett. I just heard from Alice" I said it quiet enough that only he could hear. "Put down the wench and the sword we need to get out of here." He looked so stupid in that hat. How could he think he looked appropriate? He got my message because he mumbled some nonsense to the diners that he had so go 'check the cannons on the poop deck' and came running over.

"Where are they? What did you see?" His mouth was going a mile a minute and he looked ready to run.

"Calm down. It was weird, I got a flash of Alice wanting to cover Bella up and then she was gone. It was weird. They may not be in Vegas yet, just getting close" then it happened again, I heard Alice and Rosalie both singing that damn song in their heads 'Yo Ho Yo Ho a pirates life for me.' "They know where we are. We've got to move, now!"

Again, they disappeared from my head. As we ran out of the casino I would catch glimpses of their thoughts, and they were taunting us. We hadn't been at the hotel long so our car was still out front. We jumped in and began driving down the strip.

"Where should be go? Can you tell where they are Edward?" Jasper asked anxiously. He wasn't panicked yet...

"Not yet. They must just barely be close enough for me to hear because it's like if we move one way I can hear and if we move the other way, I'm drawing a blank. They do know we're staying at treasure Island so we need to move. Any ideas Emmet?" he looked deep in thought.

"Yeah. Lets go sit in the ESPN zone and watch the game. We can make some bets and drink some beer and see how much we win. We'll need some cash for later tonight anyway. So many casinos have a sports bar it would take them the better part of the day to find us! How does that sound?" Emmett and beer, never a good combination but always funny.

"I'm in, Jasper what about you? Are you up for some betting?" Being a total gambler, I knew Jasper would jump at the chance.

"Let's do it. Even if we get caught, who cares. We weren't ding anything bad so we can't get into trouble!" Waves of excitement filled the car. We had Jasper on board . He would get a bit crazy betting on games and horse races and Emmett would get drunk. I of course would continue to monitor the girls and make sure no one got arrested. The girls we going to toy with us, and I knew it was going to be a long night.

Hope you enjoyed this one. Emmett the pirate...use your