Karma

I fell asleep last night on Jax after an amazing moment shared between us. Sex with Jax was better than any fantasy I came up with. Falling apart in his arms before that though, purging my emotions, was what I really needed. I haven't been able to find comfort like that in someone else since before I was taken.

I miss it.

They saw that photo of me. I don't even remember it being taken. Then again, I tried to block out most of what was happening to me back then. I do remember that beating though. There was a new girl brought in and she was terrified, rightfully so. I tried to comfort her and attempted to attack one of the guards when he came down to get her. I was so weak from malnourishment though, so I didn't get far in my attempt. 'Master' was pissed that I wasn't falling in line fast enough so he let his guard punish me. He beat me while the Master raped the girl right in front of me. That part was worse than the beating. I saw the girl she was before drain right out of her eyes. I knew the feeling.

The guys know the truth now, that was obvious. They don't know all of the details and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before they want me to tell them all of it. And I will. It's time they know. There's no point in keeping secrets anymore. It was foolish to even think I could.

Jax told me he loved me last night and I felt a piece of my soul return to my body with those words. I didn't realize I needed to hear it. A part of me wanted to protest and tell him he can't, but that was foolish thinking too.

I slide out of bed quietly while Jax is still sleeping. I do my business in the bathroom and come out to him still sleeping. He looks so peaceful with his hair rumpled and a soft smile on his face. I put that smile there.

I throw on some underwear and jeans with a bra and Jax's t-shirt. It smells like him. It feels like he's wrapping his arms around me as I wear it. Comfort is new to me, and I have to say, I really fucking love it.

I go downstairs and see a lot of club members hanging around. I look at my phone and see it's a little after noon. I slept later than I have in a while.

Amanda and scoot make their way over to me and my back goes rigid, so much for that comfort.

"We are so sorry Dani. So, so sorry. I shouldn't have slapped you yesterday. You don't deserve any of the hostility we've given you since you came back. We all thought you abandoned us. We all should have known better." Amanda says as she cries and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. I just awkwardly pat her back while my emotions become overwhelming.

I look around and several club members look remorseful as well. Even the ones that weren't here when I was, look contrite. I step back from Amanda but keep my hands on her shoulders as I look her in her eye.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Amanda. None of you do." I tell the room as I look at each of them. Before she can protest I speak again.

"No, I never willingly left. But I was rescued a year later and for the past six years I've stayed away. I could have come back. I should have come back, but I didn't. That was a choice I made and one I regret. This was my home and my family. I changed and I was scared of everyone seeing what I became because of it. I was weak. I am so sorry for abandoning you. None of you deserved that." Arms wrap around me from behind and from the smell of spice and clove I can tell it's Axel. I lean back into his embrace.

"You had every right to heal however you felt you needed, baby girl. We should have never doubted your loyalty for a minute. You deserve better than us but we're a selfish lot and we won't let you go again." He tells me as his arms get tighter.

I don't fight him because I don't want him to let me go. I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm home again.

"He's right Dani, we don't want you to leave again." Amanda says.