ateez family au

173

"I'm not suggesting anything but I think now you know what upsets you," Mingi simply said and pulled back a little, not interested in getting in a fight with their brother. They looked at him empathetically, trying to muster a small, encouraging smile.

For Yunho, the world seemed to stop spinning; the clocked stopped ticking, he felt like leaving his body. He panicked in that moment, sweat forming in his neck, under his arms, his cheeks getting redder - if they weren't already - and his eyes dried in a moment.

He knew what bothered him.

And knowing bothered him.

Somewhere he had always known and it had always bothered him.

~

"Yunho I know we are best friends and I already did worse for you, with you, shout outs to the teacher's car we vandalized, but if you want to be famous like your day one day, you can't keep doing this..." Chan said hastily as Yunho fiddled with the scooter helmet. He didn't seem like replying. The elder sighed and turned on the motor, as his other hand put down the visor of his helmet.

For his liking, the night was too cold for driving around on the scooter but that's what Yunho needed at that moment.

Seoul was a city that never seemed to sleep, it got quieter partly, districts that were more lively where drowned in neon lights.

Yunho didn't really notice where and when they came to a stop, his senses seemed to dull, his head was so full and empty at the same time. The sky was interesting; the crescent hung low above the city.

"Come on," Chan urged and poke Yunho's side with his elbow, "tell me. What's on your mind" Concern was lingering in his voice as he mustered his best friend up and down. "You're usually not like this... I'm worrying to be honest..."

"I..." Yunho started, his body heat up and he was cut short of whatever he thought he was going to say. What did he want to say? What was there left to say? "Are you happy?"

Chan looked perplexed, "huh?"

"Are you happy? You and your girlfriend"

The elder sighed and pressed his lips in a thin line. "Uhm... we- I didn't-"

"You know, you don't have to tell me. You didn't even tell me you had feelings for someone ... it's fine, really. Who am I to complain that you want your privacy?"

"Yunho this is really a complicated situation... we planned to tell you differently, really!"

Yunho looked at Chan, his eyes were tilted a little downward; he had overgrown him too. "I don't even know who 'we' is Chan... and- ... and that's not even the real issue" He turned his back on him, holding his head. Yunho felt the burning in his eyes, the familiar feeling of tears trespassing the corners and wetting his face. "I- I can't do this-" Crying never felt this humiliating.
He felt Chan's hand on his shoulder and brushed it off.

"Yunho now you're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong and let me help you," the elder almost begged. "I never intended to hurt you, we never intended to hurt you... this was not what was planned!"

The worst about being emotional was, that the feeling of humiliation always, with almost no exception, was followed by anger. And thus, giving in to the burning anger in his guts, Yunho turned around in full hight, yelling, "I do not care what you planned! You betrayed me! You left me out of your life!"
Face red and eyes glassy, he didn't know how to return from the stream of words that were leaving his mouth uncontrollably. "Do you even know what you did to me? All these years... You were my best friend, we did everything together! I knew I could count on you, every time for anything! You were with me all the time and now you left without giving me an apology..." his voice cracked, the stream stopped.

Inevitably, after anger came true sadness and sorrow. And in that moment Yunho knew he was doomed. After having said all these things, it didn't matter anymore if Chan knew or not. The elder didn't even look like he cared, he seemed stuck somewhere between the accusations Yunho had thrown at him.

"You owe me an apology... I have lost my heart to you and you threw it away..."

~

okokok who saw it coming???

I may not remember much of the og plotline, but this is a key point I do remember!

is a ship about to sail? is it going down? how angsty do I want to be???

AND: is that a chapter twice as long as the last??? am I finally recovering from writers block???

I hope you all had a great Christmas time if you celebrate it.

Soon the year ends and everything feels a little unreal...
sometimes I remember last summer was my last summer break in highschool, this is my last year. it makes me sad, anxious. The world seemes to have endless opportunities and I have to choose one.

even though my dream had always been to book courses on how to write an actual novel, my family wouldn't be much thrilled about that... so I hope there will fall a major from the sky that interests me so I can study that and have an 'actual' job some day lol

how have you all been?

remember to stay healthy and safe,

-gul