Smg34: The Stupid Investigators.

Pillow Warfare!

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"Wowowowow! He's gone and done it. The fool has really done it now. Right, Chris?" Swagmaster69 exclaimed while I gave him a weirded-out expression. "Ugh.. Alright, who started this war?" Chris blatantly paid no attention to Swagmaster69 and stared at Smg4 and I. Smg4 confidently raised his hand up as I pointed to him in response to Chris' query. "Huh.. that's interesting-" Chris commented. "How is that interesting!? Is it cause he's 'too mature to start one' because that's not the case at all!" I angrily countered that comment. "If anything I'm super capable of starting a war-" I added before quickly regretting informing that to military personnel.

"I like this guy. He's got that edgy teenager rage." Swagmaster69 approached me and closely inspected my face, I groaned before shoving him away from my face. "Oh golly gee, I wonder whose side I'll choose." Shroomy smiled calmly before obviously choosing Smg4 over me. "Your loss, buddy. I'm winning this war." I scoffed at Shroomy and Smg4 whilst they were already celebrating the formation of their newfound team. "Chris join us! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-" Swagmaster69 was quickly dismissed by Chris once again. "Ugh, no. I'm not joining that guy's squad." Chris stared at me in disgust as he approached Smg4's team. "I just can't put my finger on it but there's something about him that's off.." Chris tried to ponder but Smg4 swiftly came to the conclusion of Chris' concerns. "Probably the fact that he's evil-"
"Correction; 'Was evil'!! And suit yourselves, losers. You're going down." I smiled knowing I could easily whip up a plan and multiple strategies faster than Smg4. "Booyah!" Swagmaster69 shouted out.

"We're totally screwed! I didn't expect Chris to just take that blue guy's side! Oh no, oh crap--" Swagmaster69 panicked but suddenly stopped once I slapped sense into him. "Get your shit together dude. We need soldiers, weapons, and a proper base. It won't be long until they find us down here and jump our asses! We need propaganda, stat!" I spoke up to Swagmaster69 who to my surprise actually listened to what I had to say. "Sir yes sir! I'll go out there and recruit some fine soldiers and make this country proud." Swagmaster69 saluted before making his way up and out of the basement. "Don't die on me, Swag. And bring me Meggy, Saiko, and Bob!" I folded my arms confidently and began to wait for his return.

"What are you doing in my home?" An unbothered voice called out from the shadows which startled me at first until I realized whose voice it was. "Depresso? The hell are you doing down here?" I squinted at the darkness that loomed around the supposed clown. "What'd I just say? I live here dumbass!" Depresso emerged from the shadows looking up at me angrily. "No you fucking don't, you live in the trash." I glared down at the short disappointment in frustration. "Are you here to shame me? It's not my fault I'm living like this!" Depresso whined as he stared up at me in frustration.

"Lemme guess.. You live in the basement 'cause of Smg4 and or Mario?" I decided to take an estimated guess as to why Depresso resides in the basement of this castle, without much thought and a bit of sarcasm. "How'd you know!?" Depresso stared at me in disbelief. "Meh, just a hunch." I lied, that exact 'guess' also happened to me but I wasn't gonna tell him that. "Listen here, alright? This is your one chance to finally get those two buffoons back. So join me and help me fight them--" I confidently offered Depresso a slot in my squad, I know the ugly clown's rage for Smg4 and Mario will be of good use to me later on. "You need me?" Depresso expression shifted to confusion. "Yes, I need your help." I glanced at Depresso a few times before nodding my head in certainty. The clown squealed before clearing his throat. "Ahem.. I'm in!"

☞︎︎︎ˢʷᵃᵍ'ˢ ᵖᵒᵛ☟︎

"Smg3 needs your help!" I shouted as I shook the squid-human's head "Let go of me, Swag." She groaned.
"Oh no! Smg3's in trouble again-" The blue-haired girl cried out. "{[That punk。。What could he possibly need help with。]}" the tall anime woman muttered. "Well, my buddies, my ol' chums, mi amigos, Smg4 started a war. And Smg3 wants you girls to help him out- But not you." I pointed at the blue-haired girl who was now pouting at me. "He's looking for you two and Bob." I continued. "{[Hey！We won't fight without Tari。]}" The tall animated woman folded her arms and the squid girl nodded in agreement. "I don't care, she can join us for all I care."