Even until Death, the Scum Gong thought I was a White Lotus

29

Ch29 - Jumping jumping! 

cw: implied suicide

The man he liked with his entire being was fake. 

The young man sat on the railing. The night wind was harsh, blowing like a knife scraping against his face.

“Xiao Mu, don’t overreact; if you have something to say let’s talk about it slowly…” The man’s hands trembled as he reached out, carefully moving in his direction.

Xie Mu leaned down slightly. Such a little action scared Bo Qin into a cold sweat. He was almost unable to make a sound. He opened his mouth for a long time before pleading in a hoarse voice, “Don’t, don’t move……”

“Good boy, Xiao Mu, don’t move, let me take you down, be good…” 

The youth turned back, sitting on the railing without support, not looking at him.

He whispered, “Don’t come over.” 

The wind blew Xie Mu’s voice over to Bo Qin’s ear. The man stiffened. “I won’t go over, I’ll listen to you…”

”I really like Bo Qin ah…“

It was as if Xie Mu couldn’t hear him at all. He lowered his eyes, looked at the mobile phone in his hand, and murmured, “Bo Qin is a good person.” 

“He is the one I admire the most, the one I worshipped the most, as if he were my faith.”

“Faith…” The young man repeatedly spat out the word.

Thinking of the past, of his favorite Bo Qin’s handsome face, he let out a sarcastic laugh for the first time. As he laughed, tears ran out of his eyes. 

Because the motion of his laughter was too great, his body swayed back and forth in the wind as if he would fall in the next moment.

Bo Qin was stiff and looked at the youth who had stopped laughing. His body stopped moving.

Xie Mu pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Faith…”

“How ridiculous.” 

The person I respected and loved, from the beginning, was just my fantasy.” 

His eyes were red as looked at the moon in the sky.

“Gentle, kind, considerate…I carefully guarded my lover, I thought, I could…”

“How lucky was I…such a good person was actually willing to be with me…” 

“I worked hard to become what he liked. Even if I couldn’t drink well, I drank for him. I learned how to make three meals a day, learned how to massage the temples, but in the end…”

“It was all fake…”

He laughed again. As he laughed and laughed,  the tears slipped down his face. “Since my lover has been fake since the beginning, then what’s the point of all I’ve experienced, all I’ve suffered?” 

“Xiao Mu, Xiao Mu listen to me…“ The man opened his mouth with difficulty, his voice obscure. “I’m real, even if that was fake, I really do love you!” 

“You and I, can still be happy together, right?”

“Happy together…” The youth repeated Bo Qin’s words, his eyes full of confusion. “Happy together…”

“Yes, yes!” As if he had grasped onto some hope, the man nodded his head, his eyes full of hope as Xie Mu stretched out his hand. His voice trembled as he tried to maintain its tenderness. “As long as you come down, as long as you are good, I’ll give you whatever you want.”